kidattypewriter

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

Citronautics

An edited conversation from Harry Hutton's meritorious online journal, Chase Me Ladies, I'm In The Cavalry:




my existance is meritles an spiratuelastic but im prety sure islem wont help me cos i dont no hot to fyl a polan er an orin.
HA HA HA | Email | Homepage | 06.12.04 - 11:38 pm | #

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Ball Bag, I’ve emailed you. What IS that Ha man going on about. What is a “dont no hot to fyl a polan er an orin”

What is it? I am totally mystified. Is there a pillar of Islam the Imams are only telling him about? Is he actually abu Hamza and typing with his hook hand. What the fuck??
bint | Email | Homepage | 07.12.04 - 12:16 am | #

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The ha chap is one of Harry’s students, and takes a bit of getting used to. What he means is, he doesn’t know how to fyl a polan er an orin. But he does know how to wait real qiuet an then yell ‘fuck’ in someons ear by suprise.

MNK | Email | Homepage | 07.12.04 - 12:26 am | #

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Bint, HAHAHA fightens me quite a lot, he is deeply sinister and I suggest you don't enrage him. By the way, as far I can tell you haven't e-mailed me, but it is probably my mistake, I am a fucking idiot.
Ball Bag | Email | Homepage | 07.12.04 - 12:44 am | #

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"Dont no hot to fyl a polan" is straightforward enough: he doesn't know how to fly a plane. "Er an orin" I'm not so sure about. I'll get back to you.
Harry Hutton | Email | Homepage | 07.12.04 - 12:53 am | #

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BBI bet it is in your junkmail, because I have a saucy email address and a silly pseudonym. Have a look, and I’ll send you another one anyway.

Er an orin, is clearly Or an orange. He doesn’t know how to fly a plane or an orange. Like me, hey, Ha Ha Ha, guess what, I can’t fly a plane or an orange either. God, we should hook up...
bint | Email | Homepage | 07.12.04 - 1:01 am | #





It's an intriguing question: 'how does one fly an orange?' Actually, the answer to that is quite simple. All you have to do is go to a reputable Orange Flying Academy and get your licence.
I myself attended the Sydney School of Citronautics for a brief period of six months, after I left school, and learnt the basics of Orange-flying, including:

  • Piloting the Orange
  • Engine Maintenance
  • What to Do in the Event of Mould
  • The Effects of Peel on Wind Resistance, and
  • What Poodles Have To Do With All Of This (quite a lot, actually)


My trainer was a lamington, and proved to be quite effective.
Unfortunately, all that we had to practise on were lemons, as the oranges were out of season, so when I left the school, I had merely attained a general citrus-flying licence. I did try Orange-flying for a bit, after that, until I got caught by a police sergeant for not having a proper Orange-Flying Licence.
Thankfully, the Officer in question turned out to be a bowl of Laksa soup, so I ate him. But I haven't had the courage to fly an orange since.

1 comment:

Gempires said...

aaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahaha
oh, today things are funny.

Email: timhtrain - at - yahoo.com.au

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