Today, Senator Kevin Rudd called together several press representatives and wedged his head approximately 20.5 centimetres into his rectum and announced that he would not be running for the Labor leadership.
Senator Rudd then proceeded to roll around in a large vat of elephant dung while talking to the reporters, in a simultaneous attempt to explain his reasons for not running for the Labor leadership and break the world Head-up-rectum record (previously set by Prime Minister Gough Whitlam.)
My view has long been that if you are going to contest a ballot for the Australian Labor Party for its leadership, you must believe that there are enough votes to win it.
Onlookers, amazed at the Senator's ability to place his head up his posterior, were further rewarded when Rudd began to juggle several live poodles in the air, while patiently pointing out to the press representatives that
the challenge for the party was now to "unite behind Kim Beazley as leader"
Representatives of the Guinness Book of Records declared that Rudd's was the most impressive head-up-posterior attempt they had seen for some time.
Tim, your links stink, you fink!
- John Bangsund's Threepenny Planet
- Broken Biro
- Poetry 24
- Superlative scribbles
- Kirstyn McD!
- Rorrim a tsomla almost a mirror
- More Sterne
- Cam the man from the Dan.
- Too hot to Raaaaaaandallllllll!
- Erin's Excellently Everlasting Effervescements!
- Slammy Infamy
- Hail Paco!
- Baron Blandwagon, purveyor of cyberbunnies, hawker of Roger Corman, and Misruler of the Multiverse
- The Bolta. Aiyeeeeee!!!!!
- Bad Apple Audrey
- The cartoon church
- Sir Martinkus
- A Zemblanian abroad and at home
- A hodge podge of hotzeplotz
- THE SLAMMA!
- Jottlesby's nottings, or should that be Nottlesby's jottings?
- The Snarking of the Hunt
- Jazzy Hands
- David of Metal City
- David the Barista
- The Blogger on the Cast Iron Balcony
- Be an Opinion Dominion Minion!
- ... and Fel
- His brilliant career - from whale sushi to crumbed prawn
- Jo Blogs
- Yet another Tim
- Was two peas, now three peas
- ... Still Life - now with extra rotating cats!
- An Amazingly Awesome Australian Ampersand!
- Blink and you'll miss 'er
- Red in the land of the tigers!
- Wire of Vibe
- Chase him, ladies, he's in the cavalry!
- The Non-palindromical Editrix in Germanium
- Old Sterne
- The briefs...
- ... and the brieflets
- The Purple Blog
- Blairville, lair of all that is wicked and perfidious
- The enticingly acronymical CSH
- EXTREEEEEEEME WYNTER!
- Mark of California
- Silent Speaking
- Lexicon the Mexican
- ► 2015 (106)
- ► 2014 (135)
- ► 2013 (173)
- ► 2012 (275)
- ► 2011 (261)
- ► 2010 (288)
- ► 2009 (290)
- ► 2008 (316)
- ► 2007 (392)
- ► 2006 (373)
- Two Degrees of Separation, Blog Style
- Coffee Spoonerisms
- My TV Loves Me
- Blogging At Work
- Housecleaning Meditations
- But What About the Scat Pack?
- Just So You Know
- Blog Dates from Hell
- Dear John
- Go or No?
- Blogging Into the Void
- I Am Diverse, Multicultural, and Tolerant
- Horsing Around
- Definitive Proof
- Woman Talk Man Talk
- Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Brisvegas
- Imperial Measurement of the Week
- Hate Mail Anticipated
- Blabbering about Jabbernoir
- Channel Quiggin
- Your Assistunc Plez
- Pregrogblog Blogpost
- Supposedly Funny Contribution made to Allegedly 'F...
- The Romantic Redneck
- Morning With The McBeths
- The Ill Begotten Spawn of Satan and a Poo Sandwich...
- Baghdad Girl
- Caught Within Her Steely Talons
- Pro Procastination
- Don't Blame Me, I Only Wrote It
- Vote For Me, But Not Too Much
- Things Every Little Boy Should Know
- Happy New Year
- ▼ January (36)