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Friday, January 28, 2005

Mathaletics

It’s fast! It’s fierce! It’s two weeks of number-crunching, gut-busting, arithematical, acrobatical FUN! It’s

THE SYDNEY MATHLETICS 2005

And it’s going to be a HELL of a ride, let me tell you that now!

Day 1: Track and Field

THE ALGEBRACES

It’s EXCITEMENT plus when ‘a’ athletes (‘a’ being an arbitrarily-defined whole number integer) race down a track ‘n’ metres in length (‘n’ being another arbitrarily defined whole number integer) on a standard Descartian plane!

Who will win? Will the relationship between ‘n’ and ‘a’ turn out to be a standard binomial equation? One thing’s for certain – this year, we have the strongest arbitrarily-defined field of runners for years! So join us for the Algebraces!




Day 2: Inside the Ring

BOXING

Two opposing hypoteneuses square off against one another in the boxing ring, and attempt to beat one another into shape! Who will win and who will end up absolutely square-rooted? Tune in to find out!






Day 3: Target Shooting

SHOOTING

Our shooters pull out their guns and their arrows and attempt to hit a target in a Riemann-spaced environment! Can they properly account for the non-Euclidean curvature of space-time, or will the audience have t… DUCK FOR COVER!!!!


Day 4: Track and Field

LONG-HIGH-WIDE JUMP

Can our athletes beat the confines of 3-dimensional space and win the LONG-HIGH-WIDE jump?

Day 5: In the Pool

NEGATIVE-SWIMMING

First there’s the award ceremony… then all the swimmers climb into the pool and swim back before diving onto the starting blocks! It’s a startling combination of the field of negative-numbers with our top swimming athletes!

Day 6: Team Sports

CANTOR SOCCER

‘Ergh!’ ‘Argh!’ ‘I can’t breathe!’’Where are the goals?’ ‘Let me out let me out let me out!’

Two teams of infinite size compete in a field of finite size…





Day 7: Track and Field

TIME RACES

And they’re off and racing! They’ve passed the first day… ooh, look, his first birthday is coming up already … and what a rate of years they’re travelling now… yes, rounding the first decade… they’ll have reached senility in no time!...

Proving that time is just another dimension of space, our racers attempt to reach the age of 100 years – in just one minute!





Day 8: In the Ring

FRACTION WRESTLING

Get a piece of the fraction! Watch semi-wrestlers quarter one another in the ring! Who will survive and who will end up half-the-man he used to be?

Day 9: Team Sports

HOCKEY

Can two opposing teams of flatlanders beat one another one an one-dimensional field?

Day 10: Track and Field

THE PARALLALETHON

Our athletes race along a series of parallel lines until the lines meet. Be prepared to sit back, relax, and see whether the athletes will hold out until the end, or whether basic geometric laws will beat them!



3 comments:

Darlene Taylor said...

You are a funny guy.

Those boys from The Simpsons look like someone I would have had a crush on in Grade 8.

Hope you are going to keep blogging when you move. I would miss your gentle, amusing take on the world.

TimT said...

Thanks Darlene! Certainly intend to keep on blogging... though this will depend on a couple of things, obviously. Anyway, will know soon...

Darlene Taylor said...

That's good, Tim and kind of nice to read something friendly tonight.

Sigh! That's another story.

Email: timhtrain - at - yahoo.com.au

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