It’s fast! It’s fierce! It’s two weeks of number-crunching, gut-busting, arithematical, acrobatical FUN! It’s
THE SYDNEY MATHLETICS 2005
And it’s going to be a HELL of a ride, let me tell you that now!
Day 1: Track and Field
It’s EXCITEMENT plus when ‘a’ athletes (‘a’ being an arbitrarily-defined whole number integer) race down a track ‘n’ metres in length (‘n’ being another arbitrarily defined whole number integer) on a standard Descartian plane!
Who will win? Will the relationship between ‘n’ and ‘a’ turn out to be a standard binomial equation? One thing’s for certain – this year, we have the strongest arbitrarily-defined field of runners for years! So join us for the Algebraces!
Day 2: Inside the Ring
Two opposing hypoteneuses square off against one another in the boxing ring, and attempt to beat one another into shape! Who will win and who will end up absolutely square-rooted? Tune in to find out!
Day 3: Target Shooting
Our shooters pull out their guns and their arrows and attempt to hit a target in a Riemann-spaced environment! Can they properly account for the non-Euclidean curvature of space-time, or will the audience have t… DUCK FOR COVER!!!!
Can our athletes beat the confines of 3-dimensional space and win the LONG-HIGH-WIDE jump?
Day 5: In the Pool
First there’s the award ceremony… then all the swimmers climb into the pool and swim back before diving onto the starting blocks! It’s a startling combination of the field of negative-numbers with our top swimming athletes!
Day 6: Team Sports
‘Ergh!’ ‘Argh!’ ‘I can’t breathe!’’Where are the goals?’ ‘Let me out let me out let me out!’
Two teams of infinite size compete in a field of finite size…
Day 7: Track and Field
And they’re off and racing! They’ve passed the first day… ooh, look, his first birthday is coming up already … and what a rate of years they’re travelling now… yes, rounding the first decade… they’ll have reached senility in no time!...
Proving that time is just another dimension of space, our racers attempt to reach the age of 100 years – in just one minute!
Day 8: In the Ring
Get a piece of the fraction! Watch semi-wrestlers quarter one another in the ring! Who will survive and who will end up half-the-man he used to be?
Day 9: Team Sports
Can two opposing teams of flatlanders beat one another one an one-dimensional field?
Day 10: Track and Field
Our athletes race along a series of parallel lines until the lines meet. Be prepared to sit back, relax, and see whether the athletes will hold out until the end, or whether basic geometric laws will beat them!