Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Morning With The McBeths

Morning With The McBeths - a Miniature Drama

Enter Robert McBeth

Robert McBeth: (Coming into the dining room) Mornin', Stu ... Stu... goddern it, where is that boy when y' call for him? BOY!

Stewey McBeth: (From his bedroom) Dad, do you realise what time it is?

R.M.: How many times, boy, do I have to tell ya, we don't speak any of that English linger around here! Now talk properly to yer pa!

S.M: (Sighing) Aw, quit yer yappin', pa! (Comes out of his room, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes) What do you want, anyway?

R.M.: It's 7.00am in the mornin'! How many times do I have to tell ya, if you want to grow up to be a good and strong fascist like yer pa, you're goin' ta have ta get up early in the mornin'! Like they say in the poem,

Early to bed, an' early to rise
Makes a fascist healthy, wealthy and wise -
That ain't just one more o' them filthy Zionist lies.

S.M.: (Enthusiastically) But pa! I've just been engaging in an excellent poste and riposte session with Sir Weezil, of The Forces of Darkness (TM) and I reckon I've got a good chance of winnin' him over to the cause!

R.M.: (Spits) Tarnation! You haven't been posting on that thar internet thingy again, have ya?

S.M.: I have...

R.M.: How many times do I have to tell you, boy, you ain't ever goin' to win anybody over to the cause that way! I mean, what are you goin' ta say? 'Hello there, Mr. Weezil, I'm the representative of a virulent modern racist ideology, you're a jaded old leftist hack! What say we sit down and have an intelligent discussion about nationalism?' Think about it, boy!

S.M.: (Casting his head down to the ground) Yeah, I guess so, pa...

R.M.: Good! Now, whar's mah breakfast! Mah slave was supposed to bring it to me five minutes ago!

S.M.: Pa, how many times do I have to tell you, slaves have been outlawed ever since the civil war in the middle of the nineteenth century...

R.M.: Yeah, I know yer right boy, but a man can dream, can't he? Now FETCH ME MAH COFFEE! An' make it flat white, mind ... I ain't havin' any blackness in mah coffee!!!


Anonymous said...

For some reason I've been imagining all of it being spoken in a Scottish accent.

And darlin', trust YOU to be jealous of an innocent little girl living in a war-torn city just because she actually gets blog traffic and we don't.

Yes, I'm jealous too! Hahahahahahaha.

TimT said...

It's a bit of a cheap joke, really - I was trying to rely on the 'DeepSouth=Racism' stereotype. As a matter of fact, these two folks are gen-u-ine, 100% Aussie racists, from my own city, Newcastle.

Must admit I'm envious of Raghdi and all her commentators. But really, she's got an interesting blog, and she's already more articulate in my native language than I ever will be!

Email: timhtrain - at -

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