kidattypewriter

Saturday, September 24, 2005

The Miracle of Birth

Why bother filming yourself giving birth when you can blog about it?

THE MIRACLE OF BIRTH - LIVE BLOGGING

10.00 AM
I am overflowing with joy! I feel like jumping up and down and dancing in the street! I am about to commune with the Mother Goddess and give birth to my first child! And I shall share it with all of you, my lovely blog readers!

10.15 AM
Ooh.

10.30 AM
Owch.

11.00 AM
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

11.45 AM
Whew.

12.30 AM
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEUU
WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWUUUUU
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

12.45 AM
Phew.

1.45 AM
GNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMPPPPPPP
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHRRRRGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHA!!!!

WUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

2.20 AM
A beautiful boy has been borne into this world! I have joined the sisterhood of Gaia, and I am brimming with maternal feelings of love and pride! Frabjuous day!

END LIVE BLOGGING
Next post: My husband is an evil fucker and he must die.

3 comments:

rachy said...

crikey, if there is ever to be had an excuse for taking morphine this is it... and much better quality than the shit one gets on the street no doubt.

TimT said...

I've even gone so far as to write a poem about the miracle of birth. Wanna see?

There's a story about that. You see, I went to a performance poetry night a few months ago in Prahran. Everyone was getting up there and reading all of these awful, soppy poems about how wonderful and nurturing and caring their mummies were, and I just thought, you bunch of wankers.

I composed that poem pretty much on the spot, and got up there and performed it. I've gotta say, it doesn't scan well, but it's kind of fun.

coffee and cigarettes said...

however you managed to keep a straight face is beyond me, that is outstanding

Email: timhtrain - at - yahoo.com.au

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