3. Might I remind you, my dear, that we are nudists. Consequently, your bottom is not in anything.
4. No, I think that skirt brings out all of your four buttocks perfectly.
5. I am unable to answer that question. Last month you caught me ogling Betty Squire's breasts, and superglued my eyes shut. I have been unable to see ever since.
6. You forget, love, that as a result of a rare tropical disease you contracted in our travel to Burma, your bottom spontaneously dropped away from your body last week, so it neither looks too big nor too small.
7. Please wait a minute whilst I call up your gay friend Ken and consult him for an answer.
8. Your bottom looks perfect, and I love the way it distracts the attention from your two noses.
9. While you were sleeping last night, I took the liberty of performing extremely dangerous experimental medical surgery on your buttocks, with the help of Dr. Goerins Home Surgery for Begginers. Now I am pleased to say that you actually have a pair of eyes in your posterior. Therefore, if you would just open those two eyes and look in the mirror, you will be able to answer the question yourself.
10. Oh, you look absolutely gorgeous in that, but don't you think that other dress matches your shoes perfectly?
11. Can I go now?
Tim, your links stink, you fink!
- John Bangsund's Threepenny Planet
- Broken Biro
- Poetry 24
- Superlative scribbles
- Kirstyn McD!
- Rorrim a tsomla almost a mirror
- More Sterne
- Cam the man from the Dan.
- Too hot to Raaaaaaandallllllll!
- Erin's Excellently Everlasting Effervescements!
- Slammy Infamy
- Hail Paco!
- Baron Blandwagon, purveyor of cyberbunnies, hawker of Roger Corman, and Misruler of the Multiverse
- The Bolta. Aiyeeeeee!!!!!
- Bad Apple Audrey
- The cartoon church
- Sir Martinkus
- A Zemblanian abroad and at home
- A hodge podge of hotzeplotz
- THE SLAMMA!
- Jottlesby's nottings, or should that be Nottlesby's jottings?
- The Snarking of the Hunt
- Jazzy Hands
- David of Metal City
- David the Barista
- The Blogger on the Cast Iron Balcony
- Be an Opinion Dominion Minion!
- ... and Fel
- His brilliant career - from whale sushi to crumbed prawn
- Jo Blogs
- Yet another Tim
- Was two peas, now three peas
- ... Still Life - now with extra rotating cats!
- An Amazingly Awesome Australian Ampersand!
- Blink and you'll miss 'er
- Red in the land of the tigers!
- Wire of Vibe
- Chase him, ladies, he's in the cavalry!
- The Non-palindromical Editrix in Germanium
- Old Sterne
- The briefs...
- ... and the brieflets
- The Purple Blog
- Blairville, lair of all that is wicked and perfidious
- The enticingly acronymical CSH
- EXTREEEEEEEME WYNTER!
- Mark of California
- Silent Speaking
- Lexicon the Mexican
- ► 2014 (135)
- ► 2013 (173)
- ► 2012 (275)
- ► 2011 (261)
- ► 2010 (288)
- ► 2009 (290)
- ► 2008 (316)
- ► 2007 (392)
- ► 2006 (373)
- Australia Postmodern
- Natalia's Head Bang
- Not-quite-great Moments in Science
- An Eating of Minds
- To A Pair of Shoes
- By The Way
- Post For People With High Self Esteem
- Post For People With Low Self Esteem
- Five Pieces for Arnold Schoenberg
- Satirising the Satirists
- A Letter To Women
- Do You Have Your Devices Plugged In?
- Memo to the Busker on the Corner of Swanston Stree...
- Enema Of The State
- Hare To The Throne
- Roll Model
- The Dietary Habits of Young Males
- I'm As Slightly Miffed as Hell and I'm Not Going t...
- 18 Pointless Things People Do
- The Four Stages of Drunkeness
- The Saga of Ratatosk
- Boring Personal Crap
- Preposition of the Day!
- A Word of Warning
- Hoob Propaganda
- News Break
- Letters from the Hedge
- Geek-related News
- Pretty Words
- The Sunday Seven
- Ways To Make The World A More Perfect Place #8
- In Flagrante Depicto
- Ways To Make The World A More Perfect Place #7
- A Poetical Summary of The Lord Of The Rings
- The Emoticon Decoded
- Make Room
- Ways To Amuse Yourself #2
- The Fable of the Hornet and the Woman
- Eleven Answers to the Question, "Does My Bum Look ...
- Ranty Rant Rant
- ▼ October (42)