After I had the shower I got out the cereal and took it into the loungeroom and switched on the television.
There, on the television, was a Hoob:
Not being in the mood for Hoobs, particularly, I switched the television over to the next channel. And there was the freaking Hoob again!
I started getting twitchy. Was I hallucinating? Was I stuck in some kind of weird time loop, watching the Hoobs over and over again? Or, maybe ... where the Hoobs TAKING OVER ALL THE TELEVISION STATIONS? I flicked the dial back to the first station which, I thought, should have been SBS. What you get on SBS normally are Serbs and Croats shouting at one another, or naked French ladies. That is the way of the world. That is the way things should be. You do NOT expect to see Hoobs broadcasting out to the world.
Now, maybe you think I'm being paranoid. Maybe you might reply that my flatmate had, for some reason or other, changed the channel settings, or something like that. Maybe you're one of those people who think the Hoobs are just cute and cuddly fictional-critters that I shouldn't get too worked up about. But so what if I'm paranoid? Remember the paranoiacs first dictum: just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean everyone's not out to get me?
I would like to make it quite clear that I do not support the Hoobal domination of our television networks. I would like anti-Hoobal legislation to be passed immediately in the parliament and for all Hoobs to be deported from our country immediately as a matter of urgency. For too long, we have allowed Hoobal elements of our society to plot and plan ways to subvert our basic freedoms, and we must do something about it now. And I want everyone to know that I, for one, do NOT support our new Hoobal overlords.
Oh well. At least it wasn't the Boo Bah.