Dear Women of the World,
Greetings! We are a secret*Philanthropical International Organisation devoted to subjugating and oppressing you! We are known as - wait for it - The Patriarchy! You can find us in the phone book, listed under 'P', or in the yellow pages, listed under 'M' (for Misogynist).
That's right! We are the ones responsible for negative portrayals of women in the media! We are the ones who are impeding the advancement of women into politics! And we are the ones who are responsible for the objectification of women, and the relegation of them to domestic household roles! Aren't we clever?
But lately, we've been noticing a drop off in the levels of service we have been providing to your gender and to the community in general. Try as we might, we just haven't been able to oppress you as much as we'd like.
Therefore we'd like to ask you some quick questions:
1. Have you any comments about the activities of the Patriarchy in your town/city/state?
2. Can you think of any new and original ways in which the Patriarchy can oppress and objectify you?
3. How would you rate our current levels of oppression:
a) Very good
d) Not good at all
e) Very bad.
We look forward to your responses! Please hand them into your husbands and they will deliver them on to us!
You Know Who
*So promise not to tell anyone about us, cross your heart and hope to die!
UPDATE! You won't believe what just happened! A beautiful young woman just burst into my house and swept a motorcycle helmet off her head to reveal long, lustrous golden-brown locks of hair. I gazed in awe as she flung her head back and the sun rippled through her hair. I was on the verge of asking her if she used Pantene Pro-V when she then slapped me twice about the face and tied me into the chair with a whip. Then she threatened to castrate me if I did not write this post! It's TRUE!
I was forced to do it, forced to, I tell you!
Tim, your links stink, you fink!
- John Bangsund's Threepenny Planet
- Broken Biro
- Poetry 24
- Superlative scribbles
- Kirstyn McD!
- Rorrim a tsomla almost a mirror
- More Sterne
- Cam the man from the Dan.
- Too hot to Raaaaaaandallllllll!
- Erin's Excellently Everlasting Effervescements!
- Slammy Infamy
- Hail Paco!
- Baron Blandwagon, purveyor of cyberbunnies, hawker of Roger Corman, and Misruler of the Multiverse
- The Bolta. Aiyeeeeee!!!!!
- Bad Apple Audrey
- The cartoon church
- Sir Martinkus
- A Zemblanian abroad and at home
- A hodge podge of hotzeplotz
- THE SLAMMA!
- Jottlesby's nottings, or should that be Nottlesby's jottings?
- The Snarking of the Hunt
- Jazzy Hands
- David of Metal City
- David the Barista
- The Blogger on the Cast Iron Balcony
- Be an Opinion Dominion Minion!
- ... and Fel
- His brilliant career - from whale sushi to crumbed prawn
- Jo Blogs
- Yet another Tim
- Was two peas, now three peas
- ... Still Life - now with extra rotating cats!
- An Amazingly Awesome Australian Ampersand!
- Blink and you'll miss 'er
- Red in the land of the tigers!
- Wire of Vibe
- Chase him, ladies, he's in the cavalry!
- The Non-palindromical Editrix in Germanium
- Old Sterne
- The briefs...
- ... and the brieflets
- The Purple Blog
- Blairville, lair of all that is wicked and perfidious
- The enticingly acronymical CSH
- EXTREEEEEEEME WYNTER!
- Mark of California
- Silent Speaking
- Lexicon the Mexican
- ► 2014 (91)
- ► 2013 (173)
- ► 2012 (275)
- ► 2011 (261)
- ► 2010 (288)
- ► 2009 (290)
- ► 2008 (316)
- ► 2007 (392)
- ► 2006 (373)
- Australia Postmodern
- Natalia's Head Bang
- Not-quite-great Moments in Science
- An Eating of Minds
- To A Pair of Shoes
- By The Way
- Post For People With High Self Esteem
- Post For People With Low Self Esteem
- Five Pieces for Arnold Schoenberg
- Satirising the Satirists
- A Letter To Women
- Do You Have Your Devices Plugged In?
- Memo to the Busker on the Corner of Swanston Stree...
- Enema Of The State
- Hare To The Throne
- Roll Model
- The Dietary Habits of Young Males
- I'm As Slightly Miffed as Hell and I'm Not Going t...
- 18 Pointless Things People Do
- The Four Stages of Drunkeness
- The Saga of Ratatosk
- Boring Personal Crap
- Preposition of the Day!
- A Word of Warning
- Hoob Propaganda
- News Break
- Letters from the Hedge
- Geek-related News
- Pretty Words
- The Sunday Seven
- Ways To Make The World A More Perfect Place #8
- In Flagrante Depicto
- Ways To Make The World A More Perfect Place #7
- A Poetical Summary of The Lord Of The Rings
- The Emoticon Decoded
- Make Room
- Ways To Amuse Yourself #2
- The Fable of the Hornet and the Woman
- Eleven Answers to the Question, "Does My Bum Look ...
- Ranty Rant Rant
- ▼ October (42)