Wednesday, October 12, 2005
Letters from the Hedge
"Dear Mum and Dad,
Well, here I am in Mell Bourne, and it's a lovely city. Here is a photograph of one of the great natural sights which I found in St Kilda*. The locals call it a 'brick'. Slowly, I am learning the language of these shy but intelligent people. Maybe one of these days, they will accept me as one of their own... "
Well, my parents are back in Australia, after their whirlwind tour of the more obscure corners of the world. I've received several postcards from them, including - most bizarrely - one from Dad with a picture of two elephants making elephanty-sex, with Slovenian slogans written above them. I've no idea what the fuck he was trying to tell me there.
For a while there, they seemed to be having the time of their lives - not to mention their life insurance, which I think they sold to finance this trip.
Anyway, after receiving all these postcards from them, I think it would be remiss of me not to return the favour. I'm going to get myself a camera, and take pictures of some of the most ordinary, unexciting sites around Melbourne, and send them in to my parents like postcards. Some ideas so far:
Here is a picture of a local store, called 'Wool Worths'. I don't know why, but somehow it seems rather familiar ...
I had a nice trip yesterday. I slipped on a banana peel and fell onto the pavement. Here is a picture of the banana peel, which I kept as a memento. Isn't it beautiful?
If you can suggest any Melbourne vomitoriums or trash-heaps that I can take a picture of, leave a note in comments.
*Okay, I didn't really find it in St Kilda, I found it on the net. I was just using a common literary technique, known as 'lying'. And you didn't even know, you fools! Bwahahahaha!
Tim, your links stink, you fink!
- John Bangsund's Threepenny Planet
- Broken Biro
- Poetry 24
- Superlative scribbles
- Kirstyn McD!
- Rorrim a tsomla almost a mirror
- More Sterne
- Cam the man from the Dan.
- Too hot to Raaaaaaandallllllll!
- Erin's Excellently Everlasting Effervescements!
- Slammy Infamy
- Hail Paco!
- Baron Blandwagon, purveyor of cyberbunnies, hawker of Roger Corman, and Misruler of the Multiverse
- The Bolta. Aiyeeeeee!!!!!
- Bad Apple Audrey
- The cartoon church
- Sir Martinkus
- A Zemblanian abroad and at home
- A hodge podge of hotzeplotz
- THE SLAMMA!
- Jottlesby's nottings, or should that be Nottlesby's jottings?
- The Snarking of the Hunt
- Jazzy Hands
- David of Metal City
- David the Barista
- The Blogger on the Cast Iron Balcony
- Be an Opinion Dominion Minion!
- ... and Fel
- His brilliant career - from whale sushi to crumbed prawn
- Jo Blogs
- Yet another Tim
- Was two peas, now three peas
- ... Still Life - now with extra rotating cats!
- An Amazingly Awesome Australian Ampersand!
- Blink and you'll miss 'er
- Red in the land of the tigers!
- Wire of Vibe
- Chase him, ladies, he's in the cavalry!
- The Non-palindromical Editrix in Germanium
- Old Sterne
- The briefs...
- ... and the brieflets
- The Purple Blog
- Blairville, lair of all that is wicked and perfidious
- The enticingly acronymical CSH
- EXTREEEEEEEME WYNTER!
- Mark of California
- Silent Speaking
- Lexicon the Mexican
- ► 2016 (58)
- ► 2015 (106)
- ► 2014 (135)
- ► 2013 (173)
- ► 2012 (275)
- ► 2011 (261)
- ► 2010 (288)
- ► 2009 (290)
- ► 2008 (316)
- ► 2007 (392)
- ► 2006 (373)
- Australia Postmodern
- Natalia's Head Bang
- Not-quite-great Moments in Science
- An Eating of Minds
- To A Pair of Shoes
- By The Way
- Post For People With High Self Esteem
- Post For People With Low Self Esteem
- Five Pieces for Arnold Schoenberg
- Satirising the Satirists
- A Letter To Women
- Do You Have Your Devices Plugged In?
- Memo to the Busker on the Corner of Swanston Stree...
- Enema Of The State
- Hare To The Throne
- Roll Model
- The Dietary Habits of Young Males
- I'm As Slightly Miffed as Hell and I'm Not Going t...
- 18 Pointless Things People Do
- The Four Stages of Drunkeness
- The Saga of Ratatosk
- Boring Personal Crap
- Preposition of the Day!
- A Word of Warning
- Hoob Propaganda
- News Break
- Letters from the Hedge
- Geek-related News
- Pretty Words
- The Sunday Seven
- Ways To Make The World A More Perfect Place #8
- In Flagrante Depicto
- Ways To Make The World A More Perfect Place #7
- A Poetical Summary of The Lord Of The Rings
- The Emoticon Decoded
- Make Room
- Ways To Amuse Yourself #2
- The Fable of the Hornet and the Woman
- Eleven Answers to the Question, "Does My Bum Look ...
- Ranty Rant Rant
- ▼ October (42)