Wednesday, October 12, 2005
Letters from the Hedge
"Dear Mum and Dad,
Well, here I am in Mell Bourne, and it's a lovely city. Here is a photograph of one of the great natural sights which I found in St Kilda*. The locals call it a 'brick'. Slowly, I am learning the language of these shy but intelligent people. Maybe one of these days, they will accept me as one of their own... "
Well, my parents are back in Australia, after their whirlwind tour of the more obscure corners of the world. I've received several postcards from them, including - most bizarrely - one from Dad with a picture of two elephants making elephanty-sex, with Slovenian slogans written above them. I've no idea what the fuck he was trying to tell me there.
For a while there, they seemed to be having the time of their lives - not to mention their life insurance, which I think they sold to finance this trip.
Anyway, after receiving all these postcards from them, I think it would be remiss of me not to return the favour. I'm going to get myself a camera, and take pictures of some of the most ordinary, unexciting sites around Melbourne, and send them in to my parents like postcards. Some ideas so far:
Here is a picture of a local store, called 'Wool Worths'. I don't know why, but somehow it seems rather familiar ...
I had a nice trip yesterday. I slipped on a banana peel and fell onto the pavement. Here is a picture of the banana peel, which I kept as a memento. Isn't it beautiful?
If you can suggest any Melbourne vomitoriums or trash-heaps that I can take a picture of, leave a note in comments.
*Okay, I didn't really find it in St Kilda, I found it on the net. I was just using a common literary technique, known as 'lying'. And you didn't even know, you fools! Bwahahahaha!
Tim, your links stink, you fink!
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