kidattypewriter

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Attention, Girls and Boys

Got some copies of the NSW School Magazine yesterday. They pay something like eighty dollars for over twenty lines of poetry. Not bad, eh? Time to send them something ...

DON'T PLAY WITH KNIVES AND FORKS
A Lesson

Little girls and boys
Should never
Play with knives and forks -
O no. Not ever.

A little girl I knew
Called Jane McGee
Once fiddled with her fork -
Then RAN AWAY TO SEA!

Where she got a job
Juggling axes for
A pirate and his parrot
Called MCGRAW!

She travelled all the world
In a silver Holden car
And everyone would cry,
"There's Jane - A SUPERSTAR!"

Then, when she was old,
She took to bed
With a dreadful cold -
And next day, she was DEAD.

So listen up, kiddo:
Get this into your head -
DON'T PLAY WITH KNIVES AND FORKS:
Play with your spoons instead.

5 comments:

TimT said...

Hillaire Belloc was better:

What? And would you slap the porcupine?
Unhappy child! Desist!
Alas - that any friend of mine
Should turn a
tupto-philist.

To slap the smallest and the least
Of creatures is a sin;
How much more bad to beat a beast
With PRICKLES on it's skin!

coffee and cigarettes said...

I can't say I've ever had the urge to slap a porcupine... that's just plain dirty

TimT said...

More importantly, it's a sin.

See? It's so bad, I used bold tags to highlight it's badness! It's that bad!

CB said...

Someone would pay good money for that to be taught as an expression of the struggle against the modern age. Or not.

I think it has a certain flair.

TimT said...

Well, the School Magazine certainly pay good money - someone elses good money, at least. But I figure if I had to tolerate the NSW education system for decades, the least they can do is let me inflict some poetry on the kiddies now in exchange for a little cash.

Email: timhtrain - at - yahoo.com.au

eXTReMe Tracker

Blog Archive

About Me

My Photo
Me person. Live in world. Like stuff. Need job. Need BRAINS! (DROOLS IN THE MANNER OF ZOMBIES) Ergggggh ...