By the way, did you know a woman on the other side of the world gave birth to her first child the other day? It's true! In other news, ten thousand other women did the same thing, four thousand five hundred and sixty two sat and stared at the wall, one started to paint her toenails green with pink polka dots, and five ate turnips for breakfast.
Really, why should I care if Mary Donaldson gave birth? The Australian media seemed to think I should. It's something to do with her husband, who just happens to be a Grand Baron, or Dark Overlord, or Mighty Legislator, or Prince, or something like that. He's basically one of those ordinary guys who, through no fault of their own, are born into positions of ridiculous privilege and power.
Fairy story? Bugger off. I prefer the fairy story which ends with an entire town being tricked into jumping in a lake. Or with a witch being thrown in a barrel full of spikes and rolled into the ocean.
So, what does this new kid have to look forward to? Growing up in a palace? (Great - where's he going to go when he wants to get some Maccas?) Meeting Prime Ministers and talking economic policy (when he'd much rather be at home playing on an Xbox?) Being famous and appearing on the covers of all the Danish newspapers? And, um, being famous and appearing on the covers of all the Danish newspapers?
Personally, if I ever met this kid, I'd tell him to study his Family Tree. Not to find out about his great-great-great-grandfather's wife (and also his cousin), or the time when his uncles aunts uncles father conquered Transmistria, but because he'd find he shared a lot in common with the Family Tree.
After all, they're both rooted.
Tim, your links stink, you fink!
- John Bangsund's Threepenny Planet
- Broken Biro
- Poetry 24
- Superlative scribbles
- Kirstyn McD!
- Rorrim a tsomla almost a mirror
- More Sterne
- Cam the man from the Dan.
- Too hot to Raaaaaaandallllllll!
- Erin's Excellently Everlasting Effervescements!
- Slammy Infamy
- Hail Paco!
- Baron Blandwagon, purveyor of cyberbunnies, hawker of Roger Corman, and Misruler of the Multiverse
- The Bolta. Aiyeeeeee!!!!!
- Bad Apple Audrey
- The cartoon church
- Sir Martinkus
- A Zemblanian abroad and at home
- A hodge podge of hotzeplotz
- THE SLAMMA!
- Jottlesby's nottings, or should that be Nottlesby's jottings?
- The Snarking of the Hunt
- Jazzy Hands
- David of Metal City
- David the Barista
- The Blogger on the Cast Iron Balcony
- Be an Opinion Dominion Minion!
- ... and Fel
- His brilliant career - from whale sushi to crumbed prawn
- Jo Blogs
- Yet another Tim
- Was two peas, now three peas
- ... Still Life - now with extra rotating cats!
- An Amazingly Awesome Australian Ampersand!
- Blink and you'll miss 'er
- Red in the land of the tigers!
- Wire of Vibe
- Chase him, ladies, he's in the cavalry!
- The Non-palindromical Editrix in Germanium
- Old Sterne
- The briefs...
- ... and the brieflets
- The Purple Blog
- Blairville, lair of all that is wicked and perfidious
- The enticingly acronymical CSH
- EXTREEEEEEEME WYNTER!
- Mark of California
- Silent Speaking
- Lexicon the Mexican
- ► 2014 (91)
- ► 2013 (173)
- ► 2012 (275)
- ► 2011 (261)
- ► 2010 (288)
- ► 2009 (290)
- ► 2008 (316)
- ► 2007 (392)
- ► 2006 (373)
- Ten Lessons in Etiquette
- Replacing Less Complicated Words With More Complic...
- Possible Characters For Novels #1
- Tragic Mushrooms
- Leaky Pen
- As "Easy" as "Pie"
- The Gospel According To Tim
- What Memes May Come
- Cough, Splutter, Etc
- When The End Isn't The Finish
- A Letter To My Fellow Workmates
- Inaccurate Magazine Titles
- Ways To Amuse Yourself #3
- O Come Into The Garden, Maudlin
- Photo Phun
- Gloomed To Death
- Friday Morning Fun!
- That Sinking Feeling
- Become Crappy For No Good Reason
- A Song from Smelbourne
- Attention, Girls and Boys
- A Note on the Curious History of Trans Allosquia
- Drumroll, Please ...
- Fragments of Conversation I Overheard Yesterday Wh...
- For Fucks Sake
- The Drinklings
- Hairy Story
- Yawn of the Dead
- ▼ November (32)