Dear Wretched Simpering Anaemic Milksops,
I'm not even sure what that phrase means, but I think it probably applies to you. Every time I go down into the kitchen to get myself some coffee or tea, I look in the fridge for an ordinary sized carton of milk.
Instead, what do I find? Skinny milk, diet milk, soy milk, skim milk, light milk - everything but regular, lard-based milk.
I can understand that, from time to time, you want to cut back on your cholesterol intake. But always? From my observation of the contents of the work fridge, you are drinking much too much of this diet milk.
Here's a tip: if you want to cut back on your weight, then it's not a good idea to ingest anything in huge quantities. And certainly not the same thing, day after day.
This obsession has gone too far. I demand that my desire to guzzle ordinary, cow-produced lard once or twice a day be attended to! Rectify the lack of lactose in the fridge now!
PS Of course, if any of my fellow workmates are reading this, that doesn't go for you guys. I love you.
Tim, your links stink, you fink!
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