Dear Wretched Simpering Anaemic Milksops,
I'm not even sure what that phrase means, but I think it probably applies to you. Every time I go down into the kitchen to get myself some coffee or tea, I look in the fridge for an ordinary sized carton of milk.
Instead, what do I find? Skinny milk, diet milk, soy milk, skim milk, light milk - everything but regular, lard-based milk.
I can understand that, from time to time, you want to cut back on your cholesterol intake. But always? From my observation of the contents of the work fridge, you are drinking much too much of this diet milk.
Here's a tip: if you want to cut back on your weight, then it's not a good idea to ingest anything in huge quantities. And certainly not the same thing, day after day.
This obsession has gone too far. I demand that my desire to guzzle ordinary, cow-produced lard once or twice a day be attended to! Rectify the lack of lactose in the fridge now!
PS Of course, if any of my fellow workmates are reading this, that doesn't go for you guys. I love you.
Tim, your links stink, you fink!
- John Bangsund's Threepenny Planet
- Broken Biro
- Poetry 24
- Superlative scribbles
- Kirstyn McD!
- Rorrim a tsomla almost a mirror
- More Sterne
- Cam the man from the Dan.
- Too hot to Raaaaaaandallllllll!
- Erin's Excellently Everlasting Effervescements!
- Slammy Infamy
- Hail Paco!
- Baron Blandwagon, purveyor of cyberbunnies, hawker of Roger Corman, and Misruler of the Multiverse
- The Bolta. Aiyeeeeee!!!!!
- Bad Apple Audrey
- The cartoon church
- Sir Martinkus
- A Zemblanian abroad and at home
- A hodge podge of hotzeplotz
- THE SLAMMA!
- Jottlesby's nottings, or should that be Nottlesby's jottings?
- The Snarking of the Hunt
- Jazzy Hands
- David of Metal City
- David the Barista
- The Blogger on the Cast Iron Balcony
- Be an Opinion Dominion Minion!
- ... and Fel
- His brilliant career - from whale sushi to crumbed prawn
- Jo Blogs
- Yet another Tim
- Was two peas, now three peas
- ... Still Life - now with extra rotating cats!
- An Amazingly Awesome Australian Ampersand!
- Blink and you'll miss 'er
- Red in the land of the tigers!
- Wire of Vibe
- Chase him, ladies, he's in the cavalry!
- The Non-palindromical Editrix in Germanium
- Old Sterne
- The briefs...
- ... and the brieflets
- The Purple Blog
- Blairville, lair of all that is wicked and perfidious
- The enticingly acronymical CSH
- EXTREEEEEEEME WYNTER!
- Mark of California
- Silent Speaking
- Lexicon the Mexican
- ► 2014 (127)
- ► 2013 (173)
- ► 2012 (275)
- ► 2011 (261)
- ► 2010 (288)
- ► 2009 (290)
- ► 2008 (316)
- ► 2007 (392)
- ► 2006 (373)
- Ten Lessons in Etiquette
- Replacing Less Complicated Words With More Complic...
- Possible Characters For Novels #1
- Tragic Mushrooms
- Leaky Pen
- As "Easy" as "Pie"
- The Gospel According To Tim
- What Memes May Come
- Cough, Splutter, Etc
- When The End Isn't The Finish
- A Letter To My Fellow Workmates
- Inaccurate Magazine Titles
- Ways To Amuse Yourself #3
- O Come Into The Garden, Maudlin
- Photo Phun
- Gloomed To Death
- Friday Morning Fun!
- That Sinking Feeling
- Become Crappy For No Good Reason
- A Song from Smelbourne
- Attention, Girls and Boys
- A Note on the Curious History of Trans Allosquia
- Drumroll, Please ...
- Fragments of Conversation I Overheard Yesterday Wh...
- For Fucks Sake
- The Drinklings
- Hairy Story
- Yawn of the Dead
- ▼ November (32)