Wednesday, November 09, 2005

A Song from Smelbourne

(For Gem)
A Plea to the Goddess Obscenia

Goddess of all rank aromas,
Lice-infested carcinomas,
Eldritch stinks told of in Homer's
Famous Smelliad;
Queen of all things slimy, smelly,
Of puss-infested bowls of jelly
Or just that guy upon the telly -
Peter Hellier:

Patroness of toilet scum,
Or greasy swabs from grannies bums,
Or post-digestive effluvium
With name's like Hailey's Vomit
Since your dominion is old cheese,
And mouldy breads and rotting bries -
And humid dogs that swarm with fleas,
And all things we omit:

Grant then that you do not souse
One room within this little house
With maggot, mould, or turd of mouse:
Keep your distinctive pong.
We do not like your viral spores
Exuding from our walls and floors
Take it back - or keep it for
The bitch two doors along.

Send all future camel dungs
To grace the noses and the lungs
Of Fraser, Whitlam, Mao Tse Tung -
They're more deserving, surely:
Reserve a ranker perfume still
For those who tried to block The Pill -
I'm sure, O Queen that these fools will
Rank in your opinion poorly.

We beg you, take your mould and must,
Your things of slime and dirt and dust -
(It's not that we don't like you - just
Our noses are too weak
To stand this constant exercise)
Take them elsewhere - somewhere high
And far away, with lots of flies.
They'll love your reek.

(Edited and reposted this morning)


Gempires said...

ah, train. one day you will make money from your genius.

TimT said...

Well thanks, Gem.

But genius? I don't know about that. I just think rhymes make pretty sounds.

Email: timhtrain - at -

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