Oh no! The dreaded meme has struck!
10 Years Ago:
I was "studying"* "hard"** in my final year at school. I got quite a high score in my final exams. I attribute this result to all my "hard work."***
*"Studying" = Not really.
**"Hard" = Not much.
***"Hard work" = The examiners always marked my school up for some arcane statistical reason.
Five Years Ago:
I was "studying hard"* as a postgraduate at Sydney University. At the time, I was studying for a one-year postgraduate course, but due to my sheer brilliance, I managed to cut it down to a measly two years.
*"studying hard" = Yeah, right.
One Year Ago:
Stuck in a dead-end part-time job in Newcastle. My work consisted of me writing reports about other people who faked injury in order not to work. Earning enough money to spend and eating enough food to survive. "Volunteering"* for a young-persons group even though I wasn't quite-young-enough at that time (and probably never will be again).
Two months later, I was offered the opportunity to dig holes for a living. Hell, yeah!
*"Volunteering" = "Working Hard" with other "hard" "workers"
Five Yummy Things.
Omelette a-la Tim! (Like normal omelette, only cooked by me. It's tasty, if you're me.)
Five Songs I "Know"* By Heart
The Drinking Song. (Here's to so and so, he's true blue ...)
"I Hold Your Hand In Mine", Tom Lehrer (see comments).
"Peaches En Regalia", by Frank Zappa.**
"Cool", West Side Story.***
*"Know" = You can substitute 'Na na na na na' for some of the actual words, can't you?
** The fact that this song has no words or singers doesn't matter, does it?
*** I mean, given time, and the occasional bit of help by electric cattle prod, I'm sure I could learn all the words.
Five Things I Would Do With A LOT Of Money
By myself a supersupersized symphony orchestra.
Get the biggest library in the world.
By my family a condominium in the Himalayas.
Get a shrunken head.
Go on a trip to the moon.
Oh, yeah, and do something for world peace, and all that.
Five Things I Would Never Wear.
A Mycenean funeral mask. These days, Sumerian funeral masks are more the thing.
A viking helmet. Because you never know when you are going to run into a cranky Pictish warlord.
The Santa Claus suit. Because you never know, I might get mistaken for this guy.
A birthday cake. That's just stupid: cakes are for eating, not wearing.
A tutu. What, do you think I'm crazy? Tutus are soooo 2004.
Five Favourite TV shows
Dr Who (old, not new. I mean, levitating Daleks? That's balderdash, man!)
Five Things I Enjoy Doing
Drinking (usually beer-related substances; but also caffeine-related ones, as well).
Five People I Want To Inflict This On
Tim, your links stink, you fink!
- John Bangsund's Threepenny Planet
- Broken Biro
- Poetry 24
- Superlative scribbles
- Kirstyn McD!
- Rorrim a tsomla almost a mirror
- More Sterne
- Cam the man from the Dan.
- Too hot to Raaaaaaandallllllll!
- Erin's Excellently Everlasting Effervescements!
- Slammy Infamy
- Hail Paco!
- Baron Blandwagon, purveyor of cyberbunnies, hawker of Roger Corman, and Misruler of the Multiverse
- The Bolta. Aiyeeeeee!!!!!
- Bad Apple Audrey
- The cartoon church
- Sir Martinkus
- A Zemblanian abroad and at home
- A hodge podge of hotzeplotz
- THE SLAMMA!
- Jottlesby's nottings, or should that be Nottlesby's jottings?
- The Snarking of the Hunt
- Jazzy Hands
- David of Metal City
- David the Barista
- The Blogger on the Cast Iron Balcony
- Be an Opinion Dominion Minion!
- ... and Fel
- His brilliant career - from whale sushi to crumbed prawn
- Jo Blogs
- Yet another Tim
- Was two peas, now three peas
- ... Still Life - now with extra rotating cats!
- An Amazingly Awesome Australian Ampersand!
- Blink and you'll miss 'er
- Red in the land of the tigers!
- Wire of Vibe
- Chase him, ladies, he's in the cavalry!
- The Non-palindromical Editrix in Germanium
- Old Sterne
- The briefs...
- ... and the brieflets
- The Purple Blog
- Blairville, lair of all that is wicked and perfidious
- The enticingly acronymical CSH
- EXTREEEEEEEME WYNTER!
- Mark of California
- Silent Speaking
- Lexicon the Mexican
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- Ten Lessons in Etiquette
- Replacing Less Complicated Words With More Complic...
- Possible Characters For Novels #1
- Tragic Mushrooms
- Leaky Pen
- As "Easy" as "Pie"
- The Gospel According To Tim
- What Memes May Come
- Cough, Splutter, Etc
- When The End Isn't The Finish
- A Letter To My Fellow Workmates
- Inaccurate Magazine Titles
- Ways To Amuse Yourself #3
- O Come Into The Garden, Maudlin
- Photo Phun
- Gloomed To Death
- Friday Morning Fun!
- That Sinking Feeling
- Become Crappy For No Good Reason
- A Song from Smelbourne
- Attention, Girls and Boys
- A Note on the Curious History of Trans Allosquia
- Drumroll, Please ...
- Fragments of Conversation I Overheard Yesterday Wh...
- For Fucks Sake
- The Drinklings
- Hairy Story
- Yawn of the Dead
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