Sunday, December 18, 2005

Important Question

At the moment, I'm writing a love story about an Agorophobic and a Claustrophobic. What is the best way to describe a sex scene between the two?

Provide your answers, with supporting reasons, in comments.


nailpolishblues said...

Hysterical gasping? Lots of it? In a very large room.

Or, one in the closet and one out of it. The closet version of the Victorian era bedsheet.

Don't think I'd even want to know why you'd be thinking of this.

divinetrash said...

That's a scenario I always thought Mills & Boon should tackle.

Anyway, perhaps they could have sex in a greenhouse. That way they'd be indoors, but because of all the windows it would also appear as though there was lots of space. Although, a greenhouse would probably be too stuffy for a claustrophobic. Damn, back to square one.

Saw you on the train the other night, but I didn't say hi because I wasn't sure if you would know who I was!

TimT said...

OMG!!!WTF!!!BBQ!!! It really was you! Damn, I should have gone over and said hi! Looks like it was a case of mutual unsureness.

I just like the impossibility of this idea. Once I wrote a comic script called 'Still Together After All These Years', about those kids who featured in the urban myth - they kissed and their braces got locked together.
The 'script' was basically an interview with them in their middle ages - their braces had been stuck together for some twenty years. They hated one another.

Sick mind? Me?

Steve55 said...

If they did the wheelbarrow, they could do it in a field. The lady could be agorophobic because she'd be looking at the floor anyway, and the bloke could be claustrophobic, and have a great view of a nice green meadow.

Everyone's a winner.

TimT said...

Actually, it's the other way around. I've arranged them to have a date in an outside restaurant in the desert. The bloke stares at the wall, and the lady stares out at the desert. (She's that claustrophobic!)

Anonymous said...

I think here in the States they have something called a gloryhole. That should keep both parties happy. Keep the agoraphobic (which you misspelled) on the inside. Let him stick his thing in the hole. The happy claustrophobic can then avail her/himself of the member sticking out of the hole. How's that for a solution?

Tony.T said...

Make it a detective story:

"It's an open and shut case."

TimT said...

Actually, I was going to make it a metaphor for modern relationships:
"I just feel like you're not giving me enough space!"

"I just need to be close to you ..."

Shallow? Trivial? Me? Yes, I suppose I am.

nailpolishblues said...

Is there something wrong with shallow and trivial?

TimT said...

Not from where I'm sitting!

TimT said...

As a matter of fact, I would probably say that being shallow and trivial is profoundly important.

Email: timhtrain - at -

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