Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Expand Your Vocabulary

(Post partially inspired by a conversation with Red)

In this post, I propose to help you expand your vocabulary by giving definitions for long or unusual words. Do not worry if you know the word, but thought it had a different definition. We all make these silly little mistakes from time to time.

Antipodes (Noun)
1) A small species of sea-worm, related to nematodes. It is said that former Labor Prime Minister Gough Whitlam bred antipodes as a child.

Antithesis (Noun)
1) A musical instrument, part zither, and part trumpet. It was popular in enlightenment times, but used most recently in several Mr Bungle songs.

Bradpitt (Noun)
1) The Bradpitt is a famous hole in the ground in America, second in size only to the Grand Canyon. "That man's about as deep as the Brad Pitt" "Yes, and about as empty." - Mark Twain.

Chiropractor (Noun)
1) A new type of Italian coffee. 2) Farm machinery

Cunnamulla (Noun)
1) An ilicit bedroom act.

Flocculent (Verb, Pers. Noun)
1) Stick. "Birds of a feather flocculent together." - Colloq. 2. Well-known Hollywood actor - Calista Flocculent.

Jenniferaniston (Noun)
1) Country south of Afghanistan.

Johannesburg (Noun)
1) Salami sandwich of which Johann Sebastian Bach was very fond. It is said that every morning, he would rise from bed, and compose a prelude. Then he would call to his wife for a sandwich. After having completed the sandwich, he would compose the fugue, and then go back to bed. In time, the sandwich acquired the name 'Johannes Burger', or 'Johannesburg.'

Liposuction (Noun)
1) New and exciting form of oral sex, pioneered in Amsterdam.

Lunatic (Noun)
1) Type of insect which lives on the moon. It feeds on animal blood, and is almost extinct. It is closely related to other insects, including the Emetic, Heretic, and Atlantic.

Mod Con (Noun, Pers. Noun)
1) Member of the Australian Greens 2) Bob Brown.

Pseudoephedrine (Pers. Noun)
1) A famous Greek poet, known to everyone as 'Ephedrine'. 'Ephedrine' was suspected of not being his real name, and so everyone took to calling him 'Pseudoephedrine'. Ephedrine thought they were probably right. He wasn't sure about it either way, but decided to go along with them, just to be safe.

Quern (Noun)
1) Gathering of homosexuals (from the French)

Quark (Onomat.)
1) Noise made by a drunken duck.

Reesewitherspoon (Noun)
1) Type of cutlery.

Stagflation (Verb)
1) Resuscitating a male reindeer.

Strophe (Noun)
1) A fight amongst sailors.

Telephony (Noun)
1) Person who lies about something on national television 2) A politician. 3) Bob Brown.

Xenophobia (Noun)
1) Fear of Warrior Princesses invading your country 2) Fear of Pauline Hanson. 3) Fear of words beginning with unusual letters.

Feel free to propose your own, alternative definitions in comments!


Redsaid said...

Ooooh! A gratuitous mention on Y*O*U*R website!!! To misquote Martin Luther King, Jr.: "Fame at last! FAME AT LAST!"

I was wondering why I suddenly had readers!

xxx Red

TimT said...

Gratuitous mentions is what this site is all about, Red, but you have hordes of devoted readers, hordes, I say!!!

Frpg said...

Antithesis (Noun)

The long, boring letter you always receive from your mother's sister.

Reesewitherspoon (Noun)

What people with strange accents ask you when they want to know whether you can use chopsticks.

Stagflation (Verb)

What happens every Christmas.

Strophe (Noun)

What people shorphened their razhors ohn before razhor blades were invonted.

TimT said...

Heh. To misquote Martin Luther King, Jr, again, "You, sir, are a genius!"

Email: timhtrain - at -

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