Somehow, my mother manages to call me, every week, at the most inappropriate times. To head this off, I occasionally pick some inappropriate times for her, and call her then. Which is what I did earlier today. I set all the bowls on the stove and turned everything up to full heat then let it burn away while I called my parents.
Here's part of our conversation ...
Tim: So, anyway, Mum, can you send down two books for me?
T: The Bible and the Q'uran.
M: What? What do you want those for?
T: Well, I'm going to convert, obviously, but I'm not sure which religion to pick yet. What do you think? Christian or Muslim?
T: Can you mail them down?
M: Where are they?
T: In my old room, on the bookshelf behind the door.
M: Well ...
T: They're really easy to find. Go in there, and you'll find the books are listed in alphabetical order. The Bible and Q'uran are there under G.
T: For 'God', obviously.
M: Oh! Are they really?
T: Didn't you know? I've shown you before. They're in the bit with all the novels and fictional works.
M: I don't know, Tim.
T: No, seriously. I'm going to convert, I really am. I guess I've got a couple of choices. Catholic or Protestant, Sunni or Shi'ite. What do you think? What sounds better?
M: Just go into a secondhand bookstore in Melbourne and buy a new copy ...
T: But why would I do that? I've got the books there. Besides, I'm not going to spend more money on the Q'uran when I've already bought it once.
M: It will cost too much to send them down. What do you want them for? Are you going to write something?
T: Mum! Those books are family heirlooms! It would be wrong to buy new ones!
M: So how's the weather down there?
T: Oh, fine, fine.
Parents are more fun than babies, they really are.
Tim, your links stink, you fink!
- John Bangsund's Threepenny Planet
- Broken Biro
- Poetry 24
- Superlative scribbles
- Kirstyn McD!
- Rorrim a tsomla almost a mirror
- More Sterne
- Cam the man from the Dan.
- Too hot to Raaaaaaandallllllll!
- Erin's Excellently Everlasting Effervescements!
- Slammy Infamy
- Hail Paco!
- Baron Blandwagon, purveyor of cyberbunnies, hawker of Roger Corman, and Misruler of the Multiverse
- The Bolta. Aiyeeeeee!!!!!
- Bad Apple Audrey
- The cartoon church
- Sir Martinkus
- A Zemblanian abroad and at home
- A hodge podge of hotzeplotz
- THE SLAMMA!
- Jottlesby's nottings, or should that be Nottlesby's jottings?
- The Snarking of the Hunt
- Jazzy Hands
- David of Metal City
- David the Barista
- The Blogger on the Cast Iron Balcony
- Be an Opinion Dominion Minion!
- ... and Fel
- His brilliant career - from whale sushi to crumbed prawn
- Jo Blogs
- Yet another Tim
- Was two peas, now three peas
- ... Still Life - now with extra rotating cats!
- An Amazingly Awesome Australian Ampersand!
- Blink and you'll miss 'er
- Red in the land of the tigers!
- Wire of Vibe
- Chase him, ladies, he's in the cavalry!
- The Non-palindromical Editrix in Germanium
- Old Sterne
- The briefs...
- ... and the brieflets
- The Purple Blog
- Blairville, lair of all that is wicked and perfidious
- The enticingly acronymical CSH
- EXTREEEEEEEME WYNTER!
- Mark of California
- Silent Speaking
- Lexicon the Mexican
- ► 2016 (50)
- ► 2015 (106)
- ► 2014 (135)
- ► 2013 (173)
- ► 2012 (275)
- ► 2011 (261)
- ► 2010 (288)
- ► 2009 (290)
- ► 2008 (316)
- ► 2007 (392)
- Blank Post For Your Convenience
- Some Excuses You Might Like To Give Your School Te...
- Tomorrow Sometimes Comes
- Organs for All
- Attack of the Cliches
- I Am An Intellectual
- Three Generic Ethnic Stereotypes Walked Into A Bar...
- Captain Sanctimony
- The Infinite Monkeys Giude to 'Writing'
- Fresh Organs
- Ask Doctor Ovid
- Religious Post. No, Really!
- Leftism Is Dangerous!
- A Word of Advice
- Parents Are More Fun Than Babies!
- What Rhymes With Eldritch?
- Fog Blog
- Writing a Book Review For The Age
- Poem Intended To Irritate Dumb Folksingers
- A Question Answered
- At Night I Think Of Mary Jane
- ▼ February (21)
- ► 2005 (287)