Somehow, my mother manages to call me, every week, at the most inappropriate times. To head this off, I occasionally pick some inappropriate times for her, and call her then. Which is what I did earlier today. I set all the bowls on the stove and turned everything up to full heat then let it burn away while I called my parents.
Here's part of our conversation ...
Tim: So, anyway, Mum, can you send down two books for me?
T: The Bible and the Q'uran.
M: What? What do you want those for?
T: Well, I'm going to convert, obviously, but I'm not sure which religion to pick yet. What do you think? Christian or Muslim?
T: Can you mail them down?
M: Where are they?
T: In my old room, on the bookshelf behind the door.
M: Well ...
T: They're really easy to find. Go in there, and you'll find the books are listed in alphabetical order. The Bible and Q'uran are there under G.
T: For 'God', obviously.
M: Oh! Are they really?
T: Didn't you know? I've shown you before. They're in the bit with all the novels and fictional works.
M: I don't know, Tim.
T: No, seriously. I'm going to convert, I really am. I guess I've got a couple of choices. Catholic or Protestant, Sunni or Shi'ite. What do you think? What sounds better?
M: Just go into a secondhand bookstore in Melbourne and buy a new copy ...
T: But why would I do that? I've got the books there. Besides, I'm not going to spend more money on the Q'uran when I've already bought it once.
M: It will cost too much to send them down. What do you want them for? Are you going to write something?
T: Mum! Those books are family heirlooms! It would be wrong to buy new ones!
M: So how's the weather down there?
T: Oh, fine, fine.
Parents are more fun than babies, they really are.
Tim, your links stink, you fink!
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