1. I tripped on the stairs to my house and when I got up again I found I had Post-traumatic Stress Disorder. I just couldn't finish my homework! Every time I reached into my bag to get it, the image of those stairs welled up in my mind, and I was so afraid!
2. 'Homework', so called is an outdated term implying a bourgeoise nineteenth-century capitalist/worker dichotomy. We don't have to be bound by these archaic paradigms anymore!
3. I was going into my bedroom to get a pen to do my homework, but then I realised: in order to go into my bedroom, I am first going to have to walk half of the way to the bedroom; and in order to walk half of the way to the bedroom, I'm going to have to walk half of that distance again, and again, and again, and so on, into infinity. I realised that this was an impossible task, and that motion did not really exist.
So I went into the loungeroom and watched a cartoon instead.
4. I am religious. I am allowed to do homework on any day that is not Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Oh, and Thursday is ruled out as well. All the other days are fine.
5. Tragically, I was struck down with Alzheimer's Disease at an early age, and couldn't remember to do my homework. I trust that you will recognise and support my disability in the difficult months and years to come.
6. An anomaly in the space-time continuum caused a black hole to open up just under my desk as I was finishing my report on quasars. I was barely able to escape, but my homework, alas, was lost. Lost, I tell you!
7. Let us examine what you mean by 'Homework'. If by 'Homework' you mean 'Work' done at 'Home', then we must ask two more questions: what is 'work', and what is 'home'? 'Work' I take as meaning a 'physical labour', and 'home' as meaning 'a place of residence'. I will consider each of these terms one by one ... (etc, etc)
8. The dog ate my homework and before I could retrieve it a family of starving North Koreans ate my dog.
9. I couldn't do my homework. I was getting a brain transplant at the time because my oedipus complex wasn't working properly.
10. I didn't do my homework because I'm going on strike. I refuse to work until I am paid a reasonable wage!
Tim, your links stink, you fink!
- John Bangsund's Threepenny Planet
- Broken Biro
- Poetry 24
- Superlative scribbles
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- Rorrim a tsomla almost a mirror
- More Sterne
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- Too hot to Raaaaaaandallllllll!
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- Slammy Infamy
- Hail Paco!
- Baron Blandwagon, purveyor of cyberbunnies, hawker of Roger Corman, and Misruler of the Multiverse
- The Bolta. Aiyeeeeee!!!!!
- Bad Apple Audrey
- The cartoon church
- Sir Martinkus
- A Zemblanian abroad and at home
- A hodge podge of hotzeplotz
- THE SLAMMA!
- Jottlesby's nottings, or should that be Nottlesby's jottings?
- The Snarking of the Hunt
- Jazzy Hands
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- Be an Opinion Dominion Minion!
- ... and Fel
- His brilliant career - from whale sushi to crumbed prawn
- Jo Blogs
- Yet another Tim
- Was two peas, now three peas
- ... Still Life - now with extra rotating cats!
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- Blink and you'll miss 'er
- Red in the land of the tigers!
- Wire of Vibe
- Chase him, ladies, he's in the cavalry!
- The Non-palindromical Editrix in Germanium
- Old Sterne
- The briefs...
- ... and the brieflets
- The Purple Blog
- Blairville, lair of all that is wicked and perfidious
- The enticingly acronymical CSH
- EXTREEEEEEEME WYNTER!
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