kidattypewriter

Saturday, February 11, 2006

A Word of Advice

Today, I went down Brunswick Street and looked into several bookstores and music stores. Amongst other things, I noticed several people wearing their hats while indoors. If I could give you one piece of advice, it would be this: do not wear your hat while indoors. It is a practice that is mad, bad, and dangerous. Indeed, wearing your hat while indoors is like communism: so very, very wrong. Also, it's rude.

Reader, I beg of you: if you have an item of haberdashery, topiery, a headpiece, helmet, crown, or tiara upon your dome, please be so good as to doff it before entering indoors.

14 comments:

Caz said...

Melbourne Cup and Oaks Day must be a nightmare for you each year. Take a couple of Xanax, you'll be fine.

Aunty Marianne said...

This is vital etiquette and style advice. But I am now confused. What do I do about my tiara? Is it classified as a hat and therefore to be doffed as I waltz elegantly? Or should I consider it as an elaborate form of hair slide and sport it indoors nevertheless? Please advise as am attending a ball next Saturday*.

*I really am. In a frock and everything.

CB said...

Gentlemen always.Ladies if it's formal. Royalty, females no, males yes.

This has been the most sense anyone has posted all week. That INCLUDES the cricket scores.

JPW said...

I wear my hat indoors all the time - it's great! I'm not hurting anybody, and even if I was, then good. Who are you to tell me not to wear my hat inside? Punk!

TimT said...

Caz, I was indeed in Melbourne for the Cup and Oaks day. I had a severe case of the paradiddlies and had to have several cups of Bovril to calm myself down.

Aunty Marianne - far be it from me to prescribe etiquette advice in general. Though, as far as I can tell, CB's advice is pretty good; rules regarding headwear are a little different for ladies.

James, want to take it outside? I'll just get my boater ...

rascuache said...

I wear my hat inside....most of the time, not all the time.


why is it rude?

TimT said...

Even more rude than wearing a hat inside is asking why you shouldn't. And it's the height of rudeness to explain why.

I don't know, it just is. Perhaps the impracticality of it annoys me: hats are worn to shield one from the sun and prevent rain from falling on you. When you go inside, it fails to do either of these things.

It's a little like wearing glasses when you don't have a vision problem - it seems a little dishonest to me, like you want to hide something. But that's just a personal perception.

TimT said...

Even more rude than wearing a hat inside is asking why you shouldn't. And it's the height of rudeness to explain why.

I think I should have put an irony disclaimer after that, or something. It's also the height of rudeness and snobiness to make bad jokes about that to someone who asks an honest question. I am sorry.

nailpolishblues said...

People who wear glasses unnecessarily are mocking the blind [not blind-blind, clearly that would be pointless, merely the hard of seeing].
Breastless women who wear bras are mocking the over-endowed...

Headgear's kinda different though.
It's so often a relief to be shielded from other people's ugly mugs.

Mark said...

Thank you!!!!!! Big pet peeve of mine, asstard yuppies wearing ballcaps while they eat in restaurants and thinking it makes them look urban chic or some shit!

TimT said...

Good point, Nails.

Yeah Mark, the yuppies do it a lot. Yuppies have a LOT to answer for.

rascuache said...

You should be sorry for making fun of my naivete with your overt irony....

:-/

irony is so cliche'd thesedays...like wearing one's hat indoors

TimT said...

I'm not good at naivette, never have been. If I use 'overt irony', is naivette 'covert irony'?

rascuache said...

Sounds post modern enough to be. Covert.

I can be Covert....sounds rather cool...like my trilby...

...which i'm still wearing inside

Email: timhtrain - at - yahoo.com.au

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