Sunday, May 14, 2006

An Educational Poem for Mother's Day

An Educational Poem for Mother's Day

Child, your Mother will have often said
That soon it shall be time for Bed:
Then, Child, you should strive to be within it
Before the stopwatch runs a minute.

If ever Mother says to you
"Child! Close your mouth before you chew!"
Then bind your lips with superglue!
From henceforth, Child, you must pour
Meals through your nose by means of straws.

But if you stub your little toe,
And Mother says your foot must go,
Then chop BOTH feet off! - at the knees! -
Walk on your hands! - don't whine or wheeze!

Acquiesce to her demands
And learn from all her reprimands!
Try your very best to be
The most well-behaved of progeny!

And if Mother bursts in through the door
With a head besmeared in grime and gore
And bids you shut it in the drawer -
Then do it now! - and make it snappy!
(You wouldn't want to make her crappy!)

Be good, my child! Do her behest!
For Mother always did know best!



nailpolishblues said...

Did you read a lot of Roald Dahl as a child?

TimT said...

Yes, but I don't think his Revolting Rhymes made a huge impact on me, I preferred George's Marvellous Medicine and a few of his other books. I was thinking more about Hilaire Belloc when I wrote this, he did several books of 'moral' poems for kids where the moral was always something like:

Always keep a hold of nurse
For fear of finding something worse


Breakfast, dinner, lunch, and tea
Are all the human frame requires!
(With that the wretched child expires).

Comic Mummy said...

There's no way I can NOT comment on this - Tim, on behalf of mothers around the world, I thank you.

You simply must send this to Hallmark.

TimT said...

Much appreciated! :)

Hallmark, the greeting card people, right? Apparently you can get good cash writing greeting card poetry ...

Comic Mummy said...

Yeah you can. You'd be an absolute cracker. I'd say get onto google and see what you can find out. Rock on. ;-)

TimT said...

Read this over the phone to Mum today. She thought it was good. At least, that's what she said.

nailpolishblues said...

It is good. The idea of you reading this to your mother is unbelievably cute.

I think you'd make great these...

Email: timhtrain - at -

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