Dear Steve Bracks, Premier of Victoria,
Thank you so much for legislating to have those wonderful pictures put on cigarette packets! I just love getting up in the morning and stumbling down the street to get some milk, only to find - everywhere I turn my head - pictures of cartiligenous cankers and carcinomas, tar-ridden lungs and devotees of the tobacco plant breathing out their last in the hospital bed. I feel grateful to know that you have done this much to contribute to my aesthetic pleasure!
Sarcasm aside, Steve, I must congratulate you on this astute political campaign. You have elevated our awareness of a terrible problem in Australia: the problem of rubbish. Why, if those awful litterbugs didn't drop cigarette packets everywhere, then no-one would have to put up with these pictures! Let me tell you, Steve, the only thing worse than having to put up with the endless cigarette packets filling up the streets of Coburg, it's tolerating the infinite piles of the MX newspaper that those awful litterbugs leave lying around on the trains! There should be a tax on litterbugs, I say! Even better: we should outlaw littering, and then let litterbugs to practice their filthy habit in publically-owned littering rooms, where they don't bother anybody else. After all, if you're going to behave like preening, sanctimonious twats to me, then you should behave the same to the rest of your 'voting public'. Don't you agree?
In conclusion, I would like to considerately supply you with some pictures of rubbish and trash that you might like to use in your next campaign. Hey, it's only fair!
Yours with slobbering gratitude,
Tim, your links stink, you fink!
- John Bangsund's Threepenny Planet
- Broken Biro
- Poetry 24
- Superlative scribbles
- Kirstyn McD!
- Rorrim a tsomla almost a mirror
- More Sterne
- Cam the man from the Dan.
- Too hot to Raaaaaaandallllllll!
- Erin's Excellently Everlasting Effervescements!
- Slammy Infamy
- Hail Paco!
- Baron Blandwagon, purveyor of cyberbunnies, hawker of Roger Corman, and Misruler of the Multiverse
- The Bolta. Aiyeeeeee!!!!!
- Bad Apple Audrey
- The cartoon church
- Sir Martinkus
- A Zemblanian abroad and at home
- A hodge podge of hotzeplotz
- THE SLAMMA!
- Jottlesby's nottings, or should that be Nottlesby's jottings?
- The Snarking of the Hunt
- Jazzy Hands
- David of Metal City
- David the Barista
- The Blogger on the Cast Iron Balcony
- Be an Opinion Dominion Minion!
- ... and Fel
- His brilliant career - from whale sushi to crumbed prawn
- Jo Blogs
- Yet another Tim
- Was two peas, now three peas
- ... Still Life - now with extra rotating cats!
- An Amazingly Awesome Australian Ampersand!
- Blink and you'll miss 'er
- Red in the land of the tigers!
- Wire of Vibe
- Chase him, ladies, he's in the cavalry!
- The Non-palindromical Editrix in Germanium
- Old Sterne
- The briefs...
- ... and the brieflets
- The Purple Blog
- Blairville, lair of all that is wicked and perfidious
- The enticingly acronymical CSH
- EXTREEEEEEEME WYNTER!
- Mark of California
- Silent Speaking
- Lexicon the Mexican
- ► 2014 (124)
- ► 2013 (173)
- ► 2012 (275)
- ► 2011 (261)
- ► 2010 (288)
- ► 2009 (290)
- ► 2008 (316)
- ► 2007 (392)
- The Art of Vision
- The Natural History of Smirking
- Nine American Comedies
- Liberal Except When It Comes To Other People
- Talking About The Weather
- Suppress The Urge
- This Is Your Strife #1
- Anti Trees
- The Little Things
- Boganism, the Gentleman's Pursuit
- Naux Faux
- Important Question
- Possible Faux Pas
- Otter Codswallop? Or, a Tale of Herring-Do?
- The Bloggrogging ...
- Babies Are Evil!
- Attention Women!
- Was Kingsley Responsible for Martin's Books?
- An Imbibulation Invitation
- Cartoon Characters with Strange Relationships
- Junk Premier
- Anyone Remember This?
- Saturday Political Cliche Special
- Symbionese Whispers
- Film With Actors In It
- Foucalt You!
- Rash Decisions
- On Matters Literary
- Still More Fun Pets For Your School!
- The Will Type For Food Fashion Watch: A Public Ser...
- ▼ June (32)
- ► 2005 (287)