I've just been glancing through the Melbourne International Film Festival guide, and I'm pretty confused, I can tell you. There's certainly a lot of films listed, and a lot of adjectives to describe those films. One film is 'lovingly photographed', another is 'an urgent wake up call', a third is 'distinctive'. My favourite adjective would have to be that used to describe the Al Gore documentary An Inconvenient Truth, where Gore is described as being 'downright on-fire'. All in all, the guide is full of descriptive terms that fail to describe the films at all.
If you're trying to find a specific film, then you're in for trouble. The films are listed in a number of categories, according to the caprices of the festival organisers; if your film falls into more than one category, then you'll probably spend several hours leafing through the guide. Alternatively, you might turn to the Index of Films, beginning on page 30, where you can find the dates and theatres at which the film is being screened. Each film is marked with a specific number, which - presumably - indicates where you can find a description of the film in the rest of the festival guide. Just what aspect of the guide this film-number corresponds to, though, is up to a number of interpretations. I haven't been able to work it out.
If this weren't bad enough, when you turn to the 'How to Use the MIFF Guide' section on page 5, you are confronted with a helpful 3-step guide that leaves you feeling helpless. In other words,
I wish he would explain his explanation ...
as Byron memorably said of Coleridge.
So, essentially, the Melbourne International Film Festival Guide is a dud. It lists several films, but fails to tell us anything about them, and has a bizarre reference system that pretty much guarantees that finding when the films are screening is near impossible. In fact, I think that what we need is
A GUIDE TO THE GUIDE TO THE MELBOURNE INTERNATIONAL FILM FESTIVAL
1. Take your Melbourne International Film Festival Guide
2. Burn it.
3. Stay at home and watch DVDs.
It makes so much more sense ...
Tim, your links stink, you fink!
- John Bangsund's Threepenny Planet
- Broken Biro
- Poetry 24
- Superlative scribbles
- Kirstyn McD!
- Rorrim a tsomla almost a mirror
- More Sterne
- Cam the man from the Dan.
- Too hot to Raaaaaaandallllllll!
- Erin's Excellently Everlasting Effervescements!
- Slammy Infamy
- Hail Paco!
- Baron Blandwagon, purveyor of cyberbunnies, hawker of Roger Corman, and Misruler of the Multiverse
- The Bolta. Aiyeeeeee!!!!!
- Bad Apple Audrey
- The cartoon church
- Sir Martinkus
- A Zemblanian abroad and at home
- A hodge podge of hotzeplotz
- THE SLAMMA!
- Jottlesby's nottings, or should that be Nottlesby's jottings?
- The Snarking of the Hunt
- Jazzy Hands
- David of Metal City
- David the Barista
- The Blogger on the Cast Iron Balcony
- Be an Opinion Dominion Minion!
- ... and Fel
- His brilliant career - from whale sushi to crumbed prawn
- Jo Blogs
- Yet another Tim
- Was two peas, now three peas
- ... Still Life - now with extra rotating cats!
- An Amazingly Awesome Australian Ampersand!
- Blink and you'll miss 'er
- Red in the land of the tigers!
- Wire of Vibe
- Chase him, ladies, he's in the cavalry!
- The Non-palindromical Editrix in Germanium
- Old Sterne
- The briefs...
- ... and the brieflets
- The Purple Blog
- Blairville, lair of all that is wicked and perfidious
- The enticingly acronymical CSH
- EXTREEEEEEEME WYNTER!
- Mark of California
- Silent Speaking
- Lexicon the Mexican
- ► 2016 (50)
- ► 2015 (106)
- ► 2014 (135)
- ► 2013 (173)
- ► 2012 (275)
- ► 2011 (261)
- ► 2010 (288)
- ► 2009 (290)
- ► 2008 (316)
- ► 2007 (392)
- Spring Cleaning in Winter
- Here, Swear, and Everyswear
- Obligatory Self-Congratulatory Post: Tick!
- Would You Like To Be A Modernist?
- Review: Sarah Silverman
- Hair Today, More Tomorrow
- Why It's Usually Not A Good Idea To Write About In...
- Latin Lesson
- Important Thought About Foreign Policy
- Exhibitionism of a Cheap and Demeaning Nature
- An Eight Person Monologue
- Thinking About Thinking Some More
- The Writer to Bear Arms
- A Thoughtful Post
- Copywhiting Right
- What The Hell
- Jolly Follies with the Ruling Class
- More Peotry
- A Guide To The Guide to the Melbourne Internationa...
- An Explanation of Romance
- A Thought About Food
- Radio Notional
- Curious Ideas For Interviews
- The Pope's in Rome
- Sitting To Attention
- Black Hole Boobage
- A Review of the Previews: The Films You Don't Pay ...
- The Sounds of Nature #3
- The Wisdom of Tim
- Absolutely Degusting!
- Unspirational Mail
- Unquote of Note
- Misunderestimated Malapropositions
- The Adventures of Snidy - with Colourful Pictures!...
- ▼ July (35)
- ► 2005 (287)