kidattypewriter

Friday, July 28, 2006

Hair Today, More Tomorrow

Man wages a constant war against his hair. Stubble is never something that has just been cut, it is always on the cusp of another cut. Morning after morning, day after day, man stands, weapon at the ready, before the mirror, ready to cull the alien growth that leaps from every pore of his face - in full knowledge that, the day after, it shall be seeping through the smooth surface again.

It is a hopeless fight. And yet, where would we be if we did not struggle? Soon, the hair would be long and flowing; brushing the ground; a manic forest, an entire ecosystem ...

There was an old man with a beard
Who said, It's just as I feared:
Two larks and a wren,
An owl and a hen,
Have all made a nest in my beard.


No: better to accept this task as one of the inevitable duties of civilisation; and sombrely go about our morning duties, quelling these native follicles from their latest rebellion with lather and razor ...

7 comments:

Caz said...

I’m going to start feeling really sorry for men as soon as they start including hair removal from their arms, underarms, legs, bikini line, or scrotum – if you want to go the Brazilian style – in their daily ablutions.

But if that became the case, a “three day bikini-line growth” would suddenly be rugged, masculine, and oh so sexy.

Yep, I’m going to cry men a river about shaving their faces … yep, any day now … yep, I can feel the tears welling, threatening to spill …

Ella said...

Ha! I was just going to tell you to rewrite this from a lady's perspective, but I see Caz has beaten me to it.

I will mention, though: curlers, blow-dryers, bobby pins, straightening balm, curl volumizer, hairspray, hair dye, and gel. Also, $60 haircuts that look horrible.

TimT said...

I guess you're both right. I was originally going to work some references to underarm hair, etc, etc, in this post, but it just didn't seem to fit in; it ended up just being about shaving. Maybe in the interests of balance I should have. Oh well, I can always do something about that in later posts.

nailpolishblues said...

I do feel some sympathy - mostly because I imagined myself weilding a razor first thing in the morning and the consequences weren't pretty...

You can tell that I don't go to as much effort as ella on a daily basis, can't you? Any effort really.

ras said...

forget 60 dollar hair cuts, get dreads...although they still require alot of maitenance.

I refuse to feel sorry for you and your daily ablutions, at least you can change the way you look by shaving differently. I grant you there are different hairstyles you can give your bikini line too, but no way can you give your legs a goatee and expect not to be stared at in public and underarm hair!

I'm with caz on this, and playing the smallest violin in the world just for you.

Caz said...

ras - hey, I'd never thought of shaving patterns into my leg hair. I'm liking that idea. Sporty strips one month, a Picasso the next? Could start a trend?

ella - ah, yes, the wonderful irony of removing every little bit of stray hair, but then we attempt, mostly in vain, to volumize the hair on our heads - big, fluffy, with natural movement, yet still smooth and startlingly shiny. I could have bought three houses by now, if not for the money spent on "hair product" over the last few decades.

TimT said...

60 dollar haircuts are just ridiculous! I leave mine for a couple of months, and then when it gets in my eyes, I get it cut.

I should do posts about hair more often. Come to think of it, I never did write about my haircutting experiences in Coburg - 'Áli Barber and the 40 Cleavers' ...

Email: timhtrain - at - yahoo.com.au

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