"If people do not understand Joyce, then that is not because his art fails to live up to modern life, it is because modern life fails to live up to his art."
Like to be a revolutionary writer, a proud member of the artistic avant garde, creating new movements like surrealism or Dadaism here, there, and everywhere? Here's how to do it - in 10 easy steps!
How To Be a Modernist - In 10 Easy Steps!
1. Be born in or around 1900!
2. Become an atheist early in life before converting to either Anglicanism, Catholicism, Militant Socialism, Fascism, Freudianism, or Surrealism!
3. Fall in love with a woman who does not love you back, and idolise her in your poetry or fiction as a mother figure or a goddess figure!
4. Become the leading figure in an artistic revolution against rhymes, rhythm, meaning, high poetry, gutter poetry, pulp fiction, communism, capitalism, fascism, realism, naturalism, unrealism, heroic poetry, God, atheism, agnosticism - or sometimes all three at once!
5. Wait until 1914 and then don't go to war!
6. Write a book of poems consisting of nothing but quotes in dead languages from dead authors, mixed around a bit so it's hard to get their original meanings. Claim that it represents a revolution in thought and feeling!
7. Be mocked and scorned by the public!
8. Drive a partner into manic depression!
Then, when you get another partner, do it again! And again!
9. Starve in a garret for years and years, living on nothing but bread and wine, and a meagre gruel consisting mainly of turnip!
10. Die without any money to your name, and be discovered by an adoring public after your death!
Follow these steps, and you're sure to become a famous modernist!
Tim, your links stink, you fink!
- John Bangsund's Threepenny Planet
- Broken Biro
- Poetry 24
- Superlative scribbles
- Kirstyn McD!
- Rorrim a tsomla almost a mirror
- More Sterne
- Cam the man from the Dan.
- Too hot to Raaaaaaandallllllll!
- Erin's Excellently Everlasting Effervescements!
- Slammy Infamy
- Hail Paco!
- Baron Blandwagon, purveyor of cyberbunnies, hawker of Roger Corman, and Misruler of the Multiverse
- The Bolta. Aiyeeeeee!!!!!
- Bad Apple Audrey
- The cartoon church
- Sir Martinkus
- A Zemblanian abroad and at home
- A hodge podge of hotzeplotz
- THE SLAMMA!
- Jottlesby's nottings, or should that be Nottlesby's jottings?
- The Snarking of the Hunt
- Jazzy Hands
- David of Metal City
- David the Barista
- The Blogger on the Cast Iron Balcony
- Be an Opinion Dominion Minion!
- ... and Fel
- His brilliant career - from whale sushi to crumbed prawn
- Jo Blogs
- Yet another Tim
- Was two peas, now three peas
- ... Still Life - now with extra rotating cats!
- An Amazingly Awesome Australian Ampersand!
- Blink and you'll miss 'er
- Red in the land of the tigers!
- Wire of Vibe
- Chase him, ladies, he's in the cavalry!
- The Non-palindromical Editrix in Germanium
- Old Sterne
- The briefs...
- ... and the brieflets
- The Purple Blog
- Blairville, lair of all that is wicked and perfidious
- The enticingly acronymical CSH
- EXTREEEEEEEME WYNTER!
- Mark of California
- Silent Speaking
- Lexicon the Mexican
- ► 2015 (97)
- ► 2014 (135)
- ► 2013 (173)
- ► 2012 (275)
- ► 2011 (261)
- ► 2010 (288)
- ► 2009 (290)
- ► 2008 (316)
- ► 2007 (392)
- Spring Cleaning in Winter
- Here, Swear, and Everyswear
- Obligatory Self-Congratulatory Post: Tick!
- Would You Like To Be A Modernist?
- Review: Sarah Silverman
- Hair Today, More Tomorrow
- Why It's Usually Not A Good Idea To Write About In...
- Latin Lesson
- Important Thought About Foreign Policy
- Exhibitionism of a Cheap and Demeaning Nature
- An Eight Person Monologue
- Thinking About Thinking Some More
- The Writer to Bear Arms
- A Thoughtful Post
- Copywhiting Right
- What The Hell
- Jolly Follies with the Ruling Class
- More Peotry
- A Guide To The Guide to the Melbourne Internationa...
- An Explanation of Romance
- A Thought About Food
- Radio Notional
- Curious Ideas For Interviews
- The Pope's in Rome
- Sitting To Attention
- Black Hole Boobage
- A Review of the Previews: The Films You Don't Pay ...
- The Sounds of Nature #3
- The Wisdom of Tim
- Absolutely Degusting!
- Unspirational Mail
- Unquote of Note
- Misunderestimated Malapropositions
- The Adventures of Snidy - with Colourful Pictures!...
- ▼ July (35)
- ► 2005 (287)