Good evening, and here is the weather.
Well, from the forecast, it looks like the next 3000 years on the European continent will be both freezing cold and hot, wet, and wild, so get your umbrellas ready!
The morning will be dry and chilly, with the slight chance of a mini-glacial age.There's also
a strong possibility that, out of the mists of time, you'll get several showers of Indo-European barbarians. I must stress, it will be quite trying for all you indigenous Pictish, Basque, Semitic, Ural-Altaic, and Etruscan residents of the European continent, so please take shelter! Not to worry, though; after a little slaughter and genocide, things will return to normal.
For most of that early part of history, there'll be some slight turbulence, with feuding nomadic tribes of Romans, Celts, Grecians, and Persians. These won't develop into any immediate storms, although they may be the cause of some future turbulence.
Moving to the Mediterranean region, it seems like you're in for some sunny weather! The dawn of civilisation is about due in your area, and a torrent of barbarians from the east will bring with it a fresh trickle of ideas from which you'll draw inspiration!
There'll be several pressure troughs in the Middle East, which may at some time develop into serious instances of instability. The Egyptians will come down on the Persians, and the Persians will come down on the Grecians - so get out your umbrellas!
And we're not sure about this one yet, but word is from the Bureau of Meterology that at some point in the early-to-mid 1st millenium, the Roman Empire will fall. I must stress, we're uncertain about this, but we're putting it out there for all you Latin types!
The continuing turmoil in the Mediterranean will, it seems, will eventually eclipse the dawn of civilisation and cause a new Dark Age to fall over your areas - and eventually over the whole of Europe! But not to worry - soon enough, you'll emerge into the summer climes of the renaissance!
Moving on to the Rainfall chart: here's what some of you Europeans can expect!
In Carthage, you can expect your city to perish in a Rain of Fire.
In Britain, you're in for some tough times. Firstly:
- the Celts will reign over the Picts;
- The Romans will reign over the Celts;
- The Anglo-Saxons will reign over the Romans;
- The Normans will reign over the Anglo-Saxons.
Plus, several light showers of arrows and swordxs from the Vikings, Spanish, French, Dutch, Germans ... but we're getting ahead of ourselves here.
- Rome will fall 2 or 3 times to the Celts and the Germans;
- And Pompey is in for a volcanic eruption or two, with a rain of lava and ash! Umbrellas out!
Coming up after the break: Islamofascism presented as a sports report, with 'Fatty' Bin Laden!
Tim, your links stink, you fink!
- John Bangsund's Threepenny Planet
- Broken Biro
- Poetry 24
- Superlative scribbles
- Kirstyn McD!
- Rorrim a tsomla almost a mirror
- More Sterne
- Cam the man from the Dan.
- Too hot to Raaaaaaandallllllll!
- Erin's Excellently Everlasting Effervescements!
- Slammy Infamy
- Hail Paco!
- Baron Blandwagon, purveyor of cyberbunnies, hawker of Roger Corman, and Misruler of the Multiverse
- The Bolta. Aiyeeeeee!!!!!
- Bad Apple Audrey
- The cartoon church
- Sir Martinkus
- A Zemblanian abroad and at home
- A hodge podge of hotzeplotz
- THE SLAMMA!
- Jottlesby's nottings, or should that be Nottlesby's jottings?
- The Snarking of the Hunt
- Jazzy Hands
- David of Metal City
- David the Barista
- The Blogger on the Cast Iron Balcony
- Be an Opinion Dominion Minion!
- ... and Fel
- His brilliant career - from whale sushi to crumbed prawn
- Jo Blogs
- Yet another Tim
- Was two peas, now three peas
- ... Still Life - now with extra rotating cats!
- An Amazingly Awesome Australian Ampersand!
- Blink and you'll miss 'er
- Red in the land of the tigers!
- Wire of Vibe
- Chase him, ladies, he's in the cavalry!
- The Non-palindromical Editrix in Germanium
- Old Sterne
- The briefs...
- ... and the brieflets
- The Purple Blog
- Blairville, lair of all that is wicked and perfidious
- The enticingly acronymical CSH
- EXTREEEEEEEME WYNTER!
- Mark of California
- Silent Speaking
- Lexicon the Mexican
- ► 2014 (135)
- ► 2013 (173)
- ► 2012 (275)
- ► 2011 (261)
- ► 2010 (288)
- ► 2009 (290)
- ► 2008 (316)
- ► 2007 (392)
- Grata Non Persona
- Inward, Christian Soldiers
- Geek Amnesia
- Extracts From the Journals of a Minor Comic Poet
- Ideologically Appropriate Sartorial #1
- An Observation
- Proper Gander
- Ways To Amuse Yourself #6
- Inappropriate Political Organisations
- Bun Mots
- Pedants' Corner
- Limited Sedition
- Improbable Working Hours
- The Boy and the Bug
- A Recently Reported Case of Lenny Henry Ism
- The Eternal Washing Pile
- J S Bach, Bohemian
- Possible Characters for Novels #4: Nonsequitur
- Two Sentences That Don't Make Sense
- Impressions Of a Bookstore
- The Discontents of the Book
- More Update Update!
- Toupee Grows Man!
- Possible Characters for Novels #3: Martin Martins
- Telephony and the Gentile Art of Abuse
- Writing Tip
- What the hell are you smiling at?
- Update Update
- A Letter To The Editor
- The History of Europe Presented as a Weather Repor...
- Part-time God
- Little Blog Bits
- Metaphors for the Modern World
- ▼ August (33)
- ► 2005 (287)