kidattypewriter

Monday, September 18, 2006

Another Cosmopolitan Experience in This Multicultural City

Here you go, folks.
GIRL ON TRAIN PLATFORM: I needed to piss.

TIM: Oh.

GIRL ON TRAIN PLATFORM: I needed to piss so I went and pissed on the platform and the man asked me what I was doing.

TIM: Right.

GIRL ON TRAIN PLATFORM: I needed to piss.

TIM: Okay then.

GIRL ON TRAIN PLATFORM: So I went over there.

TIM: Fair enough.

GIRL ON TRAIN PLATFORM: The man told me there was a toilet up there but I couldn't because if had a piss up there it would have all burst out (making an eloquent gesture with her hands) so I pissed on the platform.

TIM: Very sensible of you. (Edging away)

GIRL ON TRAIN PLATFORM NOW SEVERAL METRES AWAY: If you want to piss you can piss over there too.
Right then. She was nice enough to share that story with me.

So now, I am sharing it with you.

19 comments:

Kathy said...

Why didn't you just tell her to PISS OFF, eh Timmy?

TimT said...

Because she might very well have taken me at my word. Besides, she wasn't going to hurt me or anything, just for some reason picked me out amongst the 10 or so people at the train station to impart her message to.

ras said...

*edges away*

TimT said...

Come back! None of my readers are like that, I asked them! They've all promised to be good!

Caz said...

Aaah, at least she wasn't in urgent need of clearing her bowels, of that we can all (especially Tim) be grateful.

TimT said...

I'm sure the folks at North Melbourne station will have seen it all ...

ras said...

riiiight right.

Must have been an entertaining moment, and such a thoughful woman....offering you the treasured piss spot

TimT said...

Yeah, some folks might have been all territorial, like dogs, and barked at me if I went near it!

TimT said...

... like dogs ...

And believe you me, some of these Melbourne yuppies *are* like dogs. Mongrel dogs, who keep yapping into their mobile phones.

ras said...

i look forward to seeing all this when i move there in the new year

Yeah, another Novocastrian in Melbourne, just what your fair city needs

TimT said...

Awesome! We will have to catch up!

I was thinking of coming down to Newcastle for the zine fair, which is the one part of TINA that I loved, but left it rather too late.

nailpolishblues said...

You know, Tim, I think she was hitting on you.

TimT said...

Is there an emoticon for utter incomprehension? It's got to be there *somewhere* ...

Also, it's the middle of the day, but hell, I think I need a drink ...

ras said...

lmao, I will neither confirm nor deny this suggestion.

I wont be on my own down there though...bringing another novocastrian with me...

6 toed illegitimate love child or not? I'll leave you to guess

Steve said...

I remember a woman friend of mine used to complain that she was a "nerd magnet" when it came to the sort of men she seemed to attract.

Any idea what sort of magnet you might be, T?

Darlene said...

Tim, you could of scored.

I'm not sur what multiculturalism has got to do with this post, Timbo.

Are you just trying to be controversial?

TimT said...

Yeah, but then again, if I spray myself with the appropriate pheromones I could start attracting all those yuppies ...

I used the word 'multicultural' because just about everyone else uses it whenever they feel like it - kind of a parody, if you like.

Yeah, alright, I was trying to be controversial.

Dr Evil said...

When you gotta go.....

TimT said...

When you gotta go, you gotta go, get caught by the guy at the train station, then tell a guy at the train station about it afterwards shouting it out so everyone can hear it, then walk up and down the train when it arrives asking everyone for money before getting off at Royal Park Station and disappearing through a hole in the fence instead of going through the gate.

Or at least, that's what she did!

Email: timhtrain - at - yahoo.com.au

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