I can't tell you how many of times this sort of thing has happened to me. I have been innocently enjoying my morning coffee while clicking through my favourite blogs, when a small joke has been enough to bring me on the verge of applying a boiling-hot caffeine colonic to my nasal passages: snirtle, indeed!
Worse has happened to other blog readers. Just listen to these horror stories:
"On the morning it happened," writes Betty Sue of Little Woppingtonarang, Northern Territory, "I got up and did what I normally do. I was fixed myself a lemonade with one hand and began preparing some sherbert with the usual mix of tartaric and citric acid and bicarbonate of soda and icing sugar. Occasionally, I reached over to my desktop computer and clicked through to links on your [blog name suppressed for security reasons] web log. I was so engrossed by one post that I absent-mindedly poured the bicarbonate of soda into the lemonade and shook the result up before trying to feed this to my children. If the glass of hadn't exploded before it reached my child's lips, I don't know what would have happened! Blogging is dangerous!"Or consider the case of 'Joe', a circus clown who happened at the time to be perfecting a circus act when he very narrowly avoided disaster during training:
"The act involved me juggling a simple combination of ... four pavlovas and three bananas ... while having a bowl of Aeroplane jelly balancing on my head. At the same time, for the entertainment of the audience, I planned to be walking on the tightrope with my right foot and surfing the web on my laptop computer (although obviously not on my laptop) with my left foot. It was meant to be a cutting artistic commentary on modern civilisation. However, on this particular occasion, I had strung up the tightrope between two skyscrapers in my neighbourhood. I ... clicked through to my [blog name suppressed for security reasons] and happened to see an ADORABLE picture of a labrador hugging a kitten! I couldn't help myself; I broke up laughing - it was HYSTERICAL. I managed to end up with only a few broken ribs and the bowl of jelly over my head, but when I slipped on the banana skin, I had to be very careful not to land on my laptop. I mean, it could have been IRREPARABLY DAMAGED! Blogging during training should not be allowed!"Yet another reader was just getting ready to whip some brandied cream for some jam tarts while following a recipe from a favourite cookery book and at the same time reading her favourite news website.
"However, I became so distracted by the [website name suppressed for security reasons] that I ended up whipping the cookery book and placing it in the fridge, and taking the tarts and putting them back on the shelves. I mean, a commenter on that website left a link that was just HILARIOUS! It was only much later that I discovered my mistake, and had to start all over again! How silly of me!"Nor is this all. Other readers write in with terrifying stories involving the making of apple strudel, the creation of noodles, the preparation of a quiche, or even the seemingly innocuous combination of people sipping egg-nog while clicking through their favourite links.
Please, readers: take heed of the advice given to me once when I confessed to my culinary habits on a favourite website.
"Tim, serves you right for masticating in front of the computer. It's a filthy habit."BLOGGING AND FOOD DON'T MIX.