The phrase 'Put a sock in it, you fruit', can be easily mispronounced as 'Put a suit in it, you frock!' according to researchers at the Quantum Institute for Mispronounciation (or QIM).
'Not only that,' said Professor A. Peter Enus, announcing the results of several months of scientific study into the phrase yesterday, 'But there is also strong evidence to support the hypothesis that the phrase 'Put a sock in it, you fruit', can be further mispronounced as 'Put a root in it, you fox', 'Suck a rock in it, you fits', and even 'Fuck a sock in it, you prude.'
However, questions have been raised about the quality of Professor Enus's research by Sir Fukkmibum Nisenkwik at the University of Higher Scatology of Virginia.
'It's not very well known,' says Sir Nisenkwik, 'But my learned colleague Professor A. Peter Enus's name can be mispronounced as 'E. Peter Anus', 'E. Anus Peter', 'Pee', Anus Eater', or even 'A Penus Eater.' I'm sure you will agree with me that this casts the gravest doubts on the validity of research or otherwise on offer by QIM.
Upon being made aware of these claims, Professor Enus protested that this attack was 'Just not fair.'
'I mean, Sir Fukkmibum Nisenkwik should know that it's impossible for me to make fun of the name 'Sir Fukkmibum Nisenkwik'. So for Sir Fukkmibum Nisenkwik to make fun of my name like that, well, Sir Fukkmibum Nisenkwik just isn't being sporting. I mean, what am I going to call Sir Fukkmibum Nisenkwik, really? 'Sir Suckmythumb Nice and Quick?' The quality of mispronounciation in such an insult is really quite appalling!'
The QIM have also released some preliminary papers detailing research into the phrases "Dreich my stocks", "Muck the freak", "Fuzzy ducks and ducky fuzz,"and "You pratty Kent!"
(More in Opinion on p. 73)
Tim, your links stink, you fink!
- John Bangsund's Threepenny Planet
- Broken Biro
- Poetry 24
- Superlative scribbles
- Kirstyn McD!
- Rorrim a tsomla almost a mirror
- More Sterne
- Cam the man from the Dan.
- Too hot to Raaaaaaandallllllll!
- Erin's Excellently Everlasting Effervescements!
- Slammy Infamy
- Hail Paco!
- Baron Blandwagon, purveyor of cyberbunnies, hawker of Roger Corman, and Misruler of the Multiverse
- The Bolta. Aiyeeeeee!!!!!
- Bad Apple Audrey
- The cartoon church
- Sir Martinkus
- A Zemblanian abroad and at home
- A hodge podge of hotzeplotz
- THE SLAMMA!
- Jottlesby's nottings, or should that be Nottlesby's jottings?
- The Snarking of the Hunt
- Jazzy Hands
- David of Metal City
- David the Barista
- The Blogger on the Cast Iron Balcony
- Be an Opinion Dominion Minion!
- ... and Fel
- His brilliant career - from whale sushi to crumbed prawn
- Jo Blogs
- Yet another Tim
- Was two peas, now three peas
- ... Still Life - now with extra rotating cats!
- An Amazingly Awesome Australian Ampersand!
- Blink and you'll miss 'er
- Red in the land of the tigers!
- Wire of Vibe
- Chase him, ladies, he's in the cavalry!
- The Non-palindromical Editrix in Germanium
- Old Sterne
- The briefs...
- ... and the brieflets
- The Purple Blog
- Blairville, lair of all that is wicked and perfidious
- The enticingly acronymical CSH
- EXTREEEEEEEME WYNTER!
- Mark of California
- Silent Speaking
- Lexicon the Mexican
- ► 2017 (36)
- ► 2016 (71)
- ► 2015 (106)
- ► 2014 (135)
- ► 2013 (173)
- ► 2012 (275)
- ► 2011 (261)
- ► 2010 (288)
- ► 2009 (290)
- ► 2008 (316)
- ► 2007 (392)
- AFL Grand Final
- I'll Give You Tattoos!
- A Brief Post About Figures of Speech
- Murdering With a Grin
- Egg-Nogging and Blogging: A Matter of Grave Concer...
- Quite, Unquite
- One Sunday Morning, There Was a Beatnik In My Awni...
- Breaking News: Laughing Man Laughs
- A Style in the While of S J Perelman
- Thoughts on Fossils From One Who May Someday Be a ...
- Congratulations, It's An Appendix
- Quote of the Day
- Law for the Lawless
- Nobel Prize in Chemistry and Physics Won By Andy's...
- In This Workplace, We Obey The Law of Gravity
- Another Cosmopolitan Experience in This Multicultu...
- A Defence of Doctor Who
- La Femme, La Gun, La Petit Kitten
- Cometh the Hour, Cometh the Duck
- Apropros of Nothing ...
- The Platonic Couch Meets Reality
- Lost in Thailand ...
- Fair and Balanced
- What I'm Reading
- Important News!
- Some Of The Lesser Known Sequels To Mein Kampf
- Important Announcement!
- What Does Google Know About Shakespeare?
- A Political Dilemma
- The Meme Scheme
- I Feel Like Radioactive Chicken Tonight
- Jolly Penguin Jape
- Vengeance of the Scaly Ones
- What's The Going Price on Sackcloth and Ashes?
- Meals Which Should Not Have Been Invented
- A Number of Television Shows Could Be Improved By ...
- The Age Melbourne Festivals
- Appointment, The Opposite Of
- How To Understand The Melbourne Writers' Festival
- So, Since It's Getting Late on a Saturday Night .....
- Amazing Jowl Man
- Blog News Presented As Tongue Twisters
- ▼ September (42)
- ► 2005 (287)