Guest post by Captain Blackheart
Buckle your swashes my scalliwag crew,
For I've TEN PIRATE COMMANDMENTS to impart unto you;
For though we be lawless, we must all do the same
To not blacken your Cap'n Blackheart's black name;
For though you may play at things most piratical,
Yes must learn these TEN PIRATE COMMANDMENTS - in language emphatic-al.
1. Rob from the rich, for they deserve it.
2. Rob from the poor even more than the rich, for as pirate-folk, we must be unfair to all.
3. The plank is your law! Obey the plank! Never question the plank!
4. All those who question the plank must WALK THE PLANK!
5. All those who question the walking of the plank by those who question the plank must WALK THE PLANK!
6. All those who question the walking of the plank by those who question the walking of the plank by those who question the plank must WALK THE PLANK!
7. All those who plank the questioning of walks by those who walk the planking of questions by ... errrgh, what was the question again? Ye scurvy dogs, ye get the idea!
8. DESTROY all who come in your way (but be nice about it).
9. Never forgo your duties to loot and plunder! I suggest starting your bloodthirsty rampage at a local school and working your way up (the kiddies will be only too happy to join in).
10. Be polite - for though ye be EVIL AND ROTTEN TO THE CORE, that doesn't mean you have to be nasty.
11. Arrrrgh! Being pirates, we are not bound by the law of numbers! All those who question the amount of piratical commandments here must WALK THE PLANK! (See 3, 4, and 5 above)
*There may be some of ye who have been learnin' in schools
May object to my stretching of grammatical rules;
Well, I say this to ye - the lawless DO NOT OBEY LAWS!
So be off with ye - afore I PLUNDER YOUR SHORES!