I don't like the summer and it doesn't like me. Spring's fine, and autumn is just dandy, but winter is the time of year I really love. Maybe it's just me, but rain and biting cold winds and frost are just the ticket. The moment the temperature gets up to thirty, my body starts sprouting alarming dermotological growths and viridescent sores of eczema, and no amount of lotions and balms and unguents can persuade them to calm down. If you ask me, any Australian who says they like the summer is nuts; how can they feel comfortable in all that heat and sweat and humidity?
We got a taste two days ago of what summer's really going to be like when, for no reason, the capricious weather Gods that reign over Melbourne smote us with a temperature several degrees over thirty. The entire city was sweltering, and out to the bush, fires started sprouting all over the place. It wasn't pretty.
But this summer, I've got a plan. I'm going to take my holidays in February, and go winterwards while the worst excesses of the Australian summer wash over the city. Fuck forty degree-plus temperature, I want snow and ice, baby! My passport came in just today, and I have a couple of thousand dollars saved up in the bank, so I really don't have any excuse. For my first trip to the northern hemisphere, I've got an American trip in mind. There's several things I have in mind, including a Broadway excursion, and possibly visiting a few of my favourite writers, but I think I'll throw the comments box open to my readers. Where do you guys think I should go? I'll even consider travelling to Texas to cream-pie George Bush in the face, if you pay me enough money. Otherwise, I want to keep it fairly low key. Anyway, what do you reckon?
American readers, tell me: why is your country the greatest country in the world? Go on, don't be shy!
UPDATE! Bumped this post to the top - scroll down for my opera review.
Tim, your links stink, you fink!
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