I don't like the summer and it doesn't like me. Spring's fine, and autumn is just dandy, but winter is the time of year I really love. Maybe it's just me, but rain and biting cold winds and frost are just the ticket. The moment the temperature gets up to thirty, my body starts sprouting alarming dermotological growths and viridescent sores of eczema, and no amount of lotions and balms and unguents can persuade them to calm down. If you ask me, any Australian who says they like the summer is nuts; how can they feel comfortable in all that heat and sweat and humidity?
We got a taste two days ago of what summer's really going to be like when, for no reason, the capricious weather Gods that reign over Melbourne smote us with a temperature several degrees over thirty. The entire city was sweltering, and out to the bush, fires started sprouting all over the place. It wasn't pretty.
But this summer, I've got a plan. I'm going to take my holidays in February, and go winterwards while the worst excesses of the Australian summer wash over the city. Fuck forty degree-plus temperature, I want snow and ice, baby! My passport came in just today, and I have a couple of thousand dollars saved up in the bank, so I really don't have any excuse. For my first trip to the northern hemisphere, I've got an American trip in mind. There's several things I have in mind, including a Broadway excursion, and possibly visiting a few of my favourite writers, but I think I'll throw the comments box open to my readers. Where do you guys think I should go? I'll even consider travelling to Texas to cream-pie George Bush in the face, if you pay me enough money. Otherwise, I want to keep it fairly low key. Anyway, what do you reckon?
American readers, tell me: why is your country the greatest country in the world? Go on, don't be shy!
UPDATE! Bumped this post to the top - scroll down for my opera review.
Tim, your links stink, you fink!
- John Bangsund's Threepenny Planet
- Broken Biro
- Poetry 24
- Superlative scribbles
- Kirstyn McD!
- Rorrim a tsomla almost a mirror
- More Sterne
- Cam the man from the Dan.
- Too hot to Raaaaaaandallllllll!
- Erin's Excellently Everlasting Effervescements!
- Slammy Infamy
- Hail Paco!
- Baron Blandwagon, purveyor of cyberbunnies, hawker of Roger Corman, and Misruler of the Multiverse
- The Bolta. Aiyeeeeee!!!!!
- Bad Apple Audrey
- The cartoon church
- Sir Martinkus
- A Zemblanian abroad and at home
- A hodge podge of hotzeplotz
- THE SLAMMA!
- Jottlesby's nottings, or should that be Nottlesby's jottings?
- The Snarking of the Hunt
- Jazzy Hands
- David of Metal City
- David the Barista
- The Blogger on the Cast Iron Balcony
- Be an Opinion Dominion Minion!
- ... and Fel
- His brilliant career - from whale sushi to crumbed prawn
- Jo Blogs
- Yet another Tim
- Was two peas, now three peas
- ... Still Life - now with extra rotating cats!
- An Amazingly Awesome Australian Ampersand!
- Blink and you'll miss 'er
- Red in the land of the tigers!
- Wire of Vibe
- Chase him, ladies, he's in the cavalry!
- The Non-palindromical Editrix in Germanium
- Old Sterne
- The briefs...
- ... and the brieflets
- The Purple Blog
- Blairville, lair of all that is wicked and perfidious
- The enticingly acronymical CSH
- EXTREEEEEEEME WYNTER!
- Mark of California
- Silent Speaking
- Lexicon the Mexican
- ► 2016 (60)
- ► 2015 (106)
- ► 2014 (135)
- ► 2013 (173)
- ► 2012 (275)
- ► 2011 (261)
- ► 2010 (288)
- ► 2009 (290)
- ► 2008 (316)
- ► 2007 (392)
- My Notions Recollected In Tranquility
- Notes from the Tropics
- The Curious History of the Man Who Looked Like Som...
- Off To Sydney
- Socialism: Is It a Political System or a New Age H...
- Seven Kinds of Sleep
- Banker Poetry
- Having the Weather Over For Breakfast
- Making The Facts Say What I Want Them To Say
- Rhymes About Various Poets
- Melbourne Streets - the Bookshop Count
- An Untitled Unquiry
- Going Winter For The Summer
- I Went to the Barber of Seville, And Didn't Even G...
- Conservative Calls Bunch of Trotskyites and Marxis...
- The Show And Me Just Happened To Bump Into One Ano...
- Irresponsible Propaganda
- Fat Controller Has Heart Attack, And Other Shockin...
- Melbourne's Least Worst Newspaper
- Doctor Old, Doctor New, Doctor Who
- It's Snot Good For The Environment
- Naming the Shameless
- ▼ October (23)
- ► 2005 (287)