Dear Senator Bob Brown,
I have an innovative suggestion for a sustainable agriculture project which I'm sure the Australian Greens will support. Namely, I think we should start a wholescale program in Australian schools and universities, encouraging our young people to PICK THEIR NOSES and to EAT THE RESULTS.
Now, inevitably, some right-wing refuseniks and conservative reactionaries will say things like "That's disgusting!" and "Ew, yuck! We should never eat our own waste products!"
In order to counter these predictable arguments by the fascist automatons, I suggest the Greens initiate a counter-campaign in the media. This counter-campaign would consist of four main arguments:
1) Picking your nose is easy and FUN!, and students (little grots that they are) will quite happily take to the practice!
2) It's efficient and sustainable; the person themselves produces the the item which they then ingest!
3) It would do away with many environmentally wasteful items, such as handkerchiefs and tissues. (Think of all the trees we could save)
4) Finally, snot comes in an attractive green colour!
Of course, we'll have to be very careful that scientists, under the guise of 'progress', don't try to introduce dangerous Genetically Modified snot into our noses, under the pretence of health. I mean, let's face it, GM food is dangerous, and there's no telling what eating that shit could do to us!
Thanks for the time, Bob. I know the Australian Greens will support me on this one. Keep reaching for the sky!
Tim, your links stink, you fink!
- John Bangsund's Threepenny Planet
- Broken Biro
- Poetry 24
- Superlative scribbles
- Kirstyn McD!
- Rorrim a tsomla almost a mirror
- More Sterne
- Cam the man from the Dan.
- Too hot to Raaaaaaandallllllll!
- Erin's Excellently Everlasting Effervescements!
- Slammy Infamy
- Hail Paco!
- Baron Blandwagon, purveyor of cyberbunnies, hawker of Roger Corman, and Misruler of the Multiverse
- The Bolta. Aiyeeeeee!!!!!
- Bad Apple Audrey
- The cartoon church
- Sir Martinkus
- A Zemblanian abroad and at home
- A hodge podge of hotzeplotz
- THE SLAMMA!
- Jottlesby's nottings, or should that be Nottlesby's jottings?
- The Snarking of the Hunt
- Jazzy Hands
- David of Metal City
- David the Barista
- The Blogger on the Cast Iron Balcony
- Be an Opinion Dominion Minion!
- ... and Fel
- His brilliant career - from whale sushi to crumbed prawn
- Jo Blogs
- Yet another Tim
- Was two peas, now three peas
- ... Still Life - now with extra rotating cats!
- An Amazingly Awesome Australian Ampersand!
- Blink and you'll miss 'er
- Red in the land of the tigers!
- Wire of Vibe
- Chase him, ladies, he's in the cavalry!
- The Non-palindromical Editrix in Germanium
- Old Sterne
- The briefs...
- ... and the brieflets
- The Purple Blog
- Blairville, lair of all that is wicked and perfidious
- The enticingly acronymical CSH
- EXTREEEEEEEME WYNTER!
- Mark of California
- Silent Speaking
- Lexicon the Mexican
- ► 2015 (106)
- ► 2014 (135)
- ► 2013 (173)
- ► 2012 (275)
- ► 2011 (261)
- ► 2010 (288)
- ► 2009 (290)
- ► 2008 (316)
- ► 2007 (392)
- My Notions Recollected In Tranquility
- Notes from the Tropics
- The Curious History of the Man Who Looked Like Som...
- Off To Sydney
- Socialism: Is It a Political System or a New Age H...
- Seven Kinds of Sleep
- Banker Poetry
- Having the Weather Over For Breakfast
- Making The Facts Say What I Want Them To Say
- Rhymes About Various Poets
- Melbourne Streets - the Bookshop Count
- An Untitled Unquiry
- Going Winter For The Summer
- I Went to the Barber of Seville, And Didn't Even G...
- Conservative Calls Bunch of Trotskyites and Marxis...
- The Show And Me Just Happened To Bump Into One Ano...
- Irresponsible Propaganda
- Fat Controller Has Heart Attack, And Other Shockin...
- Melbourne's Least Worst Newspaper
- Doctor Old, Doctor New, Doctor Who
- It's Snot Good For The Environment
- Naming the Shameless
- ▼ October (23)
- ► 2005 (287)