kidattypewriter

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Melbourne's Least Worst Newspaper

Looking for some reading matter? Why not buy The Harold Sun, Melbourne's most respected newspaper by our youngest septuagenarian!





HAROLD BITES DOG
A 53-year-old octogenerian from Moonee Ponds yesterday took a chunk out of a chihuahua!
"The dog bit me - so I bit it back!"chuckles the almost toothless Harold, who runs a newspaper agency at the Moonee Ponds shopping centre.
Harold was later taken to the pound by the RSPCA (Royal Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Animals), but the RSPCH (Royal Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Harold) shortly ensured that Harold was released.
"Harold's not a savage," said a spokesman for the RSPCH. "He's just misunderstood."

(Continued on p. 5, including analysis and photographs)



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7 comments:

Caz said...

Gosh Tim, that's was LAST Sunday's edition. You could have a least used the most recent example at hand.

It's good to see you encouraging Melbournians to lift their reading habits out of the gutter.

(PS - What happened to the article about prisoners and "emergency coca cola" moments? They even get free Weetbix. Compelling piece of journalism, it was.)

TimT said...

I think I missed that one, but Harold probably doesn't drink coke. If you look closely, you'll see he's got only one tooth left, so he sticks to the healthy beverages, like Tooheys or Fosters.

Kieran said...

It's not Harold Bishop is it?

Sorry, I'm a cretin.

Darlene said...

This time do Melbourne's worst newspaper.

TimT said...

No, and definitely not Harold Finehair either.

I've got to think up a suitable title for a mock-Age piece Darlene. The Aged? It's been done before ... 'The Spencer Street Soviet' is a great title but outsiders won't get it.

TimT said...

Just about The Age, Diogenes Lamp has a great quote from that paper that illustrates perfectly the strange sort of hypocrisy they specialise in.

Caz said...

"quail egg omelet"?

A suitable wine?

What pretentious pratts.

Okay, proof that The Age is cracker full of hypocrisy.

Based on this example alone they are no longer entitled to tell the hoi polloi what to do and what to think.

Email: timhtrain - at - yahoo.com.au

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