Wednesday, December 13, 2006

A Carol For The Times

(To be sung to the tune of 'We Wish You A Merry Christmas', slightly stretched, inverted, reverted and retrograded, while standing on your head.)

We wish you a Merry Christmas/ Hannukah/ Ramadan/ Tet/ Solstice/ Pancha Ganapati/ or Kwanzaa,
We wish you a Merry Christmas/ Hannukah/ Ramadan/ Tet/ Solstice/ Pancha Ganapati/ or Kwanzaa,
We wish you a Merry Christmas/ Hannukah/ Ramadan/ Tet/ Solstice/ Pancha Ganapati/ or Kwanzaa,
And a Happy New Year.

Good tidings we bring
To you and your President/Prime Minister/Chancellor/Commissioner/Governor/Democratically-elected Dictator/Autocrat/or King
We wish you a Merry Christmas/ Hannukah/ Ramadan/ Tet/ Solstice/ Pancha Ganapati/ or Kwanzaa,
And a Happy New Year.



Tim said...

Don't forget Festivus.

TimT said...

Crikey! And that would have been just the right thing for the non-denominationalists, too. Mind you, the solstice celebrations haven't been the same since they substituted a goat for the human sacrifice.

Caz said...

I feel that pagans have not been sufficiently integrated into your ditty.

Anonymous said...

We wish people a safe and prudent Christmas, with many good morals for that is what count.

and drink healthy drinks and not imbibe alcoholic drink for that is bad.

And save penguins.

And be environmentally aware And don't forget to take out your recycling and urge governments to do something about global warming and make poverty history and stop this silly race for nuclear arms.

for that is what matter in this world. donate to charities for animals i say.

but most of all make sure the next generations of children has lots of good morals instil in them. None of these trashy ideas or porn or slutty thoughts. Keep them pure and innocent. Like candles of hope burning in the darkness. That is a good analogy. It speaks to me.

TimT said...

Are we allowed to have any sugar or chocolate, Prude?

Anonymous said...

hmmm. you pose difficult questions timt but since this is the worst you has come up with (I is not naive i has heard much worse in my time attempting to convert the pagan peoples and the sinners) i think i may see a path to redemption for you. Perhaps you shall be my next mission and a successful one at that!

You do not eat penguins do you?

Here comes the acid test.

TimT said...

I'm no expert in Antarctic food, but I thought only Catholics ate penguins, and then only on Sundays.

Anyway, why would I eat penguins when there are whales available?

Caz said...

No, you may not eat chocolate. Well, only Cadbury.

Beware of: Cocoa powder

The cost: Child labor. Seventy percent of the world’s cocoa (and most of the United States’) comes from West Africa, where nearly 300,000 children under the age of 14 toil in dangerous conditions on cocoa plantations. In the Ivory Coast, where more than half of the region’s cocoa is produced, more than 100,000 children work in near slavery, subject to both injury from the machetes used to harvest the plant and from toxic pesticides that are banned in the United States and Europe.

The alternative: Buy Fair Trade Certified cocoa, which comes from farms that only employ adults and use legal pesticides. The price is equivalent to that of gourmet chocolate. If you have to get your fix and can’t find Fair Trade chocolate, look for products from Cadbury. The British company buys 90 percent of its cocoa from Ghana, where trafficking of child workers is prohibited.

The future: In October, the World Cocoa Foundation and the U.S. Agency for International Development announced the establishment of the “Healthy Communities” program to help West African cocoa farmers improve their economic, social, and environmental standards. The program is designed to help as many as 150,000 farm families during the next five years. But with 700,000 farmers in the Ivory Coast alone, it’s unlikely to affect widespread change

rachy said...

how about that poor Jewish guy in the States recently who merely suggested that along with Christmas decorations at an airport why don't they put up a menorah as well? The airport then went and took down all the Christmas decorations and the media then went on to say that he threatened legal action when he didn't.

A little too sensitive, no?

TimT said...

Ha!, I vaguely heard that story but hadn't realised that's what happened. Unbelievably stupid of the airport to take the tree down, even stupider of the media to say that he threatened legal action.

Anonymous said...

There has been too many cruel Catholics visiting my blog and mentioning penguin burgers to me to make me miserable. I think I shall need to seek treatment. I is very sad.

If you is not a penguin eater ...

well, i tentatively say you may be a worthwhile person. At least not as bad as some of those pagans who has been taunting me mercilessly in my latest traipses through cyberspace. WHY OH WHY MUST THE LIFE OF A VIGILANTE BE FRAUGHT WITH SUCH TROUBLES?

I is doing good. I do not deserve this ...

TimT said...

I had no idea that you were a vigilaunt. I have two aunties already maintaining a vigil, and to think of another unknown vigil-maintaining-aunt such as yourself roaming the internet is more than a little disturbing.

Are you sure that you are not a Virago, Lone Wolf, Amazon, or Heroine in disguise? (Although I don't think that being a Heroine is strictly legal) ...

Kathy said...

Mmmmm Mmmm..
Just love those penguins( Kath smacks lips) ...

You know what they say Prude.
A penguin a day keeps the doctor away.

I am a Catholic of course!

Anonymous said...

I thought you might like to know that the word in the original version of we wish you a merry Christmas is KIN NOT KING

ras said...

Can we just dispense with christmas altogether?

Email: timhtrain - at -

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