At last I have acquired myself a mobile phone! It was purchased, on the previous morn, from a cheerful Chinese vendor at the local markets: but why should I bother you with details of my acquisition? The long and the short of it is, my lovely Charlottina, that I am now obliged, as a gentleman and as a Professor of Advanced Linguistics and Semiotics, specialising in the Appropriate Use of Passive Peraphrastics, to familiarise myself with the use of this marvellous new lingua-franca, SMS. Yes, Charlottina: I intend to fling myself into this new language; to learn the ins and outs of SMS; to discover the peculiar grammatical rules and conventions that govern its use.
How I admire the ease and talent with which the youth of today fling themselves at their mobile phones, sending text message after text message to one another! Compared to them, my dearest Charlottina, my thumbs seem as if they were cudgels: but over time, I expect that I shall take to the SMS medium like a fish to water; I shall acquire the manual dexterity necessary to become fluent in the medium; and I shall reap the benefits of this marvellous new technology!
But I must be brief, Charlottina; although I long to familiarise myself with SMS at greater length, I am aware that the medium places strict - nay, even Spartan - restrictions upon the length of message; and furthermore, as Shakespeare said, 'Brevity is the soul of wit'. And so, for now, I will quit my phone, and confine myself to this brief note.
I am, as always,
Your ever-loving and most faithful friend,
Professor Quentin Harthright-Fullberton Jones.
MESSAGE NOT SENT.
MESSAGES MUST BE UNDER 100 CHARACTERS LONG.
I M LERNING SMS. IT IS HRD!!!!
HOW DO U KDZ UZ THZ THNGS? LOLZ!!!
MY THMBZ HRT!
GOT 2 GO.
***A warning, or a chilling vision of things to come? You decide.