Good day, racists! This year we've got a wonderful line up of shows, events, and activities for all you neo-nazi anti-semitic apartheid-supporters out there!
The Katwalk Fashion Parade
See the latest in KKK fashion - now our robes are longer and whiter than ever! (Sponsored by KKK-KLEAN! Guaranteed to get your fabrics whiter than white!)
Starting next Saturday, we will be featuring a series of classic film nights. First film is Casablanca. We have made a few minor edits to the production of the original film: Sam is no longer played by a negro, but by Klansman Whitmann; Rick hands Victor and Ilsa over to the Nazis; and the Nazis take over Casablanca. We have made a special print of the film for the occasion: instead of being in black and white, it is now in a purer white and white format. Remember to bring your glasses!
This year our focus is on Shakespeare. It has been an established fact amongst clan scholars for decades that Shakespeare did not write any plays at all. They were in fact penned by a literary genius called Cletus from Alabama. A number of the plays of this little known American bard will be performed over the year.
Our ever-vigilant Games Masters have excluded all games including black pieces, black balls, or items which are otherwise off-white. The number of games excluded now reaches into the thousands, and include chess, snooker, bowls, and cricket (although we approve of the umpire's costume, the ball is far too red for our liking.) Our most popular event is charades. Don't forget - full Klan uniform or you will be barred at the door!
The Klan debating society intends to hold a number of debates on issues of importance over the year. Our first topic for debate is 'The Question of Israel'. After viewing some stimulating introductory material by Dr Joesseff Goebells, Hezbollah, and Hamas, the floor will be opened to opposing teams. Please, leave your negativity at the door.
Music is a universal language that has the power to bring segregationalists of all colours (as long as they're white) together. Our focus this week will be upon Beethoven's symphonies. Contrary to a long-held popular delusion, Beethoven's symphonies were not written by the Hunnish madman at all, but by a little known musical genius called Cletus from Alabama. We will be listening to Cletus 7th and Choral Symphonies tonight, with chorus performed by the Salt Lake City Khoristers.
Ever wanted to learn painting, but never knew where to start? All you need is a brush and a tin of white paint! We'll start small, but by the end of the month, we intend to whitewash the whole town!
I think it's going to be an exciting year!
Tim, your links stink, you fink!
- John Bangsund's Threepenny Planet
- Broken Biro
- Poetry 24
- Superlative scribbles
- Kirstyn McD!
- Rorrim a tsomla almost a mirror
- More Sterne
- Cam the man from the Dan.
- Too hot to Raaaaaaandallllllll!
- Erin's Excellently Everlasting Effervescements!
- Slammy Infamy
- Hail Paco!
- Baron Blandwagon, purveyor of cyberbunnies, hawker of Roger Corman, and Misruler of the Multiverse
- The Bolta. Aiyeeeeee!!!!!
- Bad Apple Audrey
- The cartoon church
- Sir Martinkus
- A Zemblanian abroad and at home
- A hodge podge of hotzeplotz
- THE SLAMMA!
- Jottlesby's nottings, or should that be Nottlesby's jottings?
- The Snarking of the Hunt
- Jazzy Hands
- David of Metal City
- David the Barista
- The Blogger on the Cast Iron Balcony
- Be an Opinion Dominion Minion!
- ... and Fel
- His brilliant career - from whale sushi to crumbed prawn
- Jo Blogs
- Yet another Tim
- Was two peas, now three peas
- ... Still Life - now with extra rotating cats!
- An Amazingly Awesome Australian Ampersand!
- Blink and you'll miss 'er
- Red in the land of the tigers!
- Wire of Vibe
- Chase him, ladies, he's in the cavalry!
- The Non-palindromical Editrix in Germanium
- Old Sterne
- The briefs...
- ... and the brieflets
- The Purple Blog
- Blairville, lair of all that is wicked and perfidious
- The enticingly acronymical CSH
- EXTREEEEEEEME WYNTER!
- Mark of California
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