kidattypewriter

Friday, April 20, 2007

I Went To the Brothel, And All I Got Was This Lousy Condom

Rachy has a great link on her blog to a Herald Sun story about venturesome State Liberals MP Bruce Atkinson. (And Jeremy links to the same story covered by The Age.)
SENIOR Victorian government MPs have praised a Liberal backbencher who visited a gay sex club and witnessed dozens of men having sex to research high-risk sexual behaviour...

Mr Atkinson, who is married with three adult children, said he paid $15 to enter and was handed a single condom at the door.

"In the context of the behaviours in that venue, I think a single condom was inadequate," he said.

"I spent maybe five or 10 minutes in the venue; some of the venue is just a passive recreation area where alcohol is served, but there were sections which were available for sexual encounters and some of those horrified me.
He can't have been that horrified. As Rachy points out, Atkinson has also published books of erotic poetry, gathered petitions at the Sexpo, and spoken at pornographer's meetings of the Eros foundations. As a matter of fact, considering Atkinson's fondness for this sort of thing, I think there could be a lucrative business in it...

EXCURSIONS FOR VICTORIAN MPS
SEXTASM industries would like to offer State MPs a one-off, very affordable research tour of our pleasure houses During this tour, MPs will observe but not take part in twosomes, threesomes, quartets, pile-ons, sixty-niners, fellatio, cunnilingus, anal sex, Dutch sex, and just about any other kind of sex you can think of except for those that aren't legal. MPs will be handed a condom at the door in order to be able to observe but not take part in these activities at closer quarters. Intimate rooms are available for small parties of MPs to take part in discussion of policies and other related completely legal activities. Absolute privacy is assured unless MPs would like to discuss policies or perform other related completely legal activities with larger groups of people . Bring members of the opposite party along for a fun night out! Large groups welcome - return visits encouraged!
I dunno. Do you reckon they'll buy it?

20 comments:

nailpolishblues said...

Is it just for MPs or can anyone participate?




Am slightly perturbed by my word verification being zpump.

TimT said...

Oh, anyone at all. I'm just impressed this seemingly mild-mannered MP is getting in on the action!

nailpolishblues said...

MPs do politics for a living - even the most [seemingly] mild-mannered and innocent of them are seriously sick fuckers and almost certainly perverts. Kind of like gynaecologists.

Caz said...

I can't wait to read his poetry stemming from fact-finding-missions to the Hell Fire Club.

His children must be very proud.

Karen said...

I suppose anyone can be overtaken by a wave of vulgarity on a saturday afternoon, so, without further ado:

Dear Mr Sextasm, M.D.,

While you certainly provide an extensive list of activities sure to impress any upright young or not-so-young Tory on a fact-finding mission, we fear that you have been rather remiss as regards the fancy dress component. It would be much appreciated if you could rectify this oversight and inform the committee of any changes.

Warmest regards,
The Tory Clam Bake and Social Committee.

nailpolishblues said...

It's Saturday, I'm at work, and you haven't posted yet - what am I supposed to read???

TimT said...

All out of ideas. Might post something later. Just been to see 'Sunshine', and that's craptacular. 'The Shining' meets '2001'. Got a couple of things in the works, I'll try and post later.

BTW - Clam-baking? I dunno about clams (aren't they more of a lower-class thing? I went fishing for clams once or twice as a kid with Dad and my brothers) but OMG! I just finished boiling some mussels! Are you, like, telepathic Karen?

nailpolishblues said...

You have an hour and a half. What a slow blog day.

TimT said...

If you insist...

nailpolishblues said...

Three hours later...

The need has passed.

TimT said...

So harsh a critic!

Just went to the supermarket. Some goth kids down the road are having a party, there's even a 1980's-style Mohawk dude there. It's like every freak you've ever met at a train station, in the house just next to you.

nailpolishblues said...

Goths are so cute. Little goth kiddies are one of my favourite features of Enmore.

Karen said...

I was thinking of the New England Clam Bake. I don't know about their "class status". I've never been to one. I'm very fond of clam chowder though. Sadly, I am not telepathic. I did once try to cook some pippis myself, but then little tubers came out of the shells and I couldn't do it.

Saw a preview for "Sunshine" during "The Lives of Others". It looks like "The Core 2" (I did not watch the latter by choice, I hasten to add).

TimT said...

Never heard of 'The Core 2'. Mussels are easy to cook, you just brown some onions, clean the beards off the mussels and throw them the pot, then upend some wine or beer in there and boil 'em. They're fun, because their shells start to open and then you know they're ready to be eaten! In France, according to this telly show I saw once (and if that doesn't count as valid research, then I'd like to know what does!), they do just this and serve the mussels with fried potato chips.

Interactive recipes like mussels are excellent. You can have almost as much fun boiling potato gnocchi. As I'm sure you know, you can tell they're done when they float to the top, so you spend five minutes scooping them out as they rise up. Rather creepily, they tend to rise up to the top en masse like The Kraken or some other sea monster.

Karen said...

Thankfully, there is no "The Core 2", just "The Core"- allow me to , as my ex-boyfriend enriched mine. He wanted to show me Christopher Lambert as Tarzan too, but I put my foot down to anything beyond the opening sequence. Strangely, he had the same opinion of Sunshine as you did.

As I'm sure you know

It is not safe to assume I know anything when it comes to cooking! I have had a pot of mussels at one of those Belgian beer cafes more than a few times though. I do like interactive cooking, but probably need adult supervision to explore it further.
How nice to hear that someone thinks of Tennyson as he cooks!

Karen said...

Oh shit! I thought this thing told you when you didn't close the bracket properly!

Karen said...

Ok. I'll just paste that link:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0298814/

TimT said...

OMG, that movie sounds hilarious! Though not as good as Dr Who: Inferno, which has a wonderful plot twist about lava from the interior of the earth having an inexplicable ability to turn men into ravening, primordial beasts of prey.

Karen said...

The last message didn't go through? Infernal Telstra service! (She calms her rage with green tea and bone china).

I simply must see Dr Who: Inferno! The Core is indeed hilarious and I was able to have much fun at its expense throughout. Oddly, the chap concerned (himself a scientist) insisted that the film did have some dramatic merit, although he also suggested that I watch Total Recall as a window into his psyche.

I am still very fond of Journey to the Centre of the Earth, of which your description of Dr Who: Inferno reminds me. There were some fantastically dodgy sci-fi series on sunday afternoon TV when I was a child- of which you may have been deprived with your two-TV-channel reception. The Time Tunnel especially.

Justinbelmondo said...

Oh the times we spend in the male sex backrooms with only one condom. What a week that was.

Email: timhtrain - at - yahoo.com.au

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Me person. Live in world. Like stuff. Need job. Need BRAINS! (DROOLS IN THE MANNER OF ZOMBIES) Ergggggh ...