This is for Charles. Hopefully this will teach him to have a go at Spenser. Reading The Fairy Queen? He never had it so good (compared to this)...
THE HAIRY QUEENE, BOOK N, CANTO LVXXXIII
Into a forest, dark, decayed -
Called "Wood You Cannot See For Trees" -
A wild waste (no light, all shade)
Came foorth doollefull DIOGENES,
(Munching on ham and Edam cheese.)
Behind him, on these gloomy ways
Follows the Dwarf MELODRAMATESE;
Before, a light which casts its rays
And glist'ring, seem to set the woods ablaze!
And nowe the dwarf tugs at his arm,
And now, with countenance most awful
Begs that his maister flee from harm,
Warns of a fate most grim and fearefull.
(His maister bids him to be chearfull).
They draw nigh to a dreary den:
The dwarf grows more aghast and tearfull:
"FLEE!" then he crieth, "This is MURDOCH'S DEN,
And those that lie within be ne Beasts, ne Men!"
Both peer into the griesly gloom,
While the dwarf cries out in shrieking tones,
With tales of impending doom,
And many horrifying groans,
And frankly irritating moans.
But deep withinne, they scry a beast
A-scrunching on some skulls and bones -
"FLEE!" cries the dwarf. "We've time, at least -
'Tis PHATARSEPHIL sate at his charnel feast!"
But closer still they draw and see
This dreadfull beast engorge its tail
In its north mouth, and out the south
Eftsoons disgorge it, without fail;
And round about, knights clad in mail
Do rush with swords and spiked-chains,
Its leathern hide for to assayle,
But all are crushed with cries of pain! -
God help those entrapped in foule Errours traine!
Then, eyes gleaming full of murd'rous hates
Does PHATARSEPHIL escry this payre
Stand, ghast and gaping, at its gaytes:
He reares up fierse into the ayre
For then to drag them into its layre:
But lo: DIOGENES forth thrusts his LIGHT
And its beames do spred forth everywhere,
And noble rayes of GOOD and RIGHT
Do spred forthe and conquer ERROUR'S night!
And in those glist'ring lantern beams
The BEAST itself doth fade away
Mid'st many corny squawks and screams:
DIOGENES and dwarf choose not to stay,
But ride foorth into the Lanterne's day,
Questing, questing, evermore
Through the darkling woodland ways
To bring the light of Life and Law,
To find the fabled, far-off Culture War...
Tim, your links stink, you fink!
- John Bangsund's Threepenny Planet
- Broken Biro
- Poetry 24
- Superlative scribbles
- Kirstyn McD!
- Rorrim a tsomla almost a mirror
- More Sterne
- Cam the man from the Dan.
- Too hot to Raaaaaaandallllllll!
- Erin's Excellently Everlasting Effervescements!
- Slammy Infamy
- Hail Paco!
- Baron Blandwagon, purveyor of cyberbunnies, hawker of Roger Corman, and Misruler of the Multiverse
- The Bolta. Aiyeeeeee!!!!!
- Bad Apple Audrey
- The cartoon church
- Sir Martinkus
- A Zemblanian abroad and at home
- A hodge podge of hotzeplotz
- THE SLAMMA!
- Jottlesby's nottings, or should that be Nottlesby's jottings?
- The Snarking of the Hunt
- Jazzy Hands
- David of Metal City
- David the Barista
- The Blogger on the Cast Iron Balcony
- Be an Opinion Dominion Minion!
- ... and Fel
- His brilliant career - from whale sushi to crumbed prawn
- Jo Blogs
- Yet another Tim
- Was two peas, now three peas
- ... Still Life - now with extra rotating cats!
- An Amazingly Awesome Australian Ampersand!
- Blink and you'll miss 'er
- Red in the land of the tigers!
- Wire of Vibe
- Chase him, ladies, he's in the cavalry!
- The Non-palindromical Editrix in Germanium
- Old Sterne
- The briefs...
- ... and the brieflets
- The Purple Blog
- Blairville, lair of all that is wicked and perfidious
- The enticingly acronymical CSH
- EXTREEEEEEEME WYNTER!
- Mark of California
- Silent Speaking
- Lexicon the Mexican
- ► 2015 (97)
- ► 2014 (135)
- ► 2013 (173)
- ► 2012 (275)
- ► 2011 (261)
- ► 2010 (288)
- ► 2009 (290)
- ► 2008 (316)
- Take That, Spenserian Stanza!
- Five Hundred Year Old Poetry For The Moment
- From Yesterday's Weekend Australian Magazine
- No Ilk Bar In Sight
- Disparaging Reviews of Everyday Objects
- Pointless Epigrams on Various Bloggers
- Blink And You'll Miss Her...
- Post For Broadway Geeks
- Television For Extremely Inattentive People
- Answering the Big Questions, Questioning the Big A...
- This Is All Tony Blair's Fault
- The Latest Ultimate Question
- List Of Smitings
- Another Poem
- Nothing Could Be Finer Than a Cup of Old One-Liner...
- What the Queen Said About Robert Menzies
- Fashion Charade
- I Went To the Brothel, And All I Got Was This Lous...
- Further Questions Answered
- A Clerihew
- The Department of Emoticon Regulation Answers Freq...
- Free Existence With Every Second Furniture Purchas...
- A Scientific Experiment
- Autobiography At Second Hand
- Cop That, Thomas Edison!
- Now We Know Why This Crocodile is Smiling...
- What To Expect When You're Expecting Satan
- One-word haikus
- Terse and Werse
- Obligatory 300 Post
- Unfortunately, Your Child Is Displaying All The Sy...
- Don't Move! There's a Fire-Breathing Freak-Beast F...
- Warning: Clowns Ahead
- Thought For The Day
- Colonel Pyatnivski
- Stanley, Hand Me The Axe
- Switched On To Switching Off
- Sither That Wedge
- Good Film See - You Look Look Now!
- ▼ April (41)
- ► 2006 (373)
- ► 2005 (287)