I went to Wunderkammer. I walked up Lonsdale Street towards the Docklands, past a picturesquely vacant Melbourne lane:
It was wedged into a cozy corner of the street, between a bunch of office buildings:
And just opposite a building that seemed to be decorated with abandoned shopping trolleys.
So I went in.
I had barely taken five steps into the building before I found myself face to face with the head of a stag, staring at me balefully with its glassy eyes. Straight off, I backed away, placing my head on the table for support. There was a snapping sound, and I turned to see a hinged human skull attempting to swallow my fingers.
Backing off rapidly, I found myself suddenly encircled by the gigantic skeleton of a python, and I almost skewered my eye on one of the rib-bones. I emitted a polite but definite shriek, and tumbled head-first down the stairs.
Here I found myself in a curious laboratory, surrounded by curious gadgets, fit for a mad professor. Where was the mad professor? I shuddered to think! I collapsed in an exhausted heap at the bottom of a bookshelf, evincing a sudden fall of parliamentary records of Outer Westphalia, or somewhere like that. It's hard to read when books are collapsing in a pile on your head.
I noticed as I brushed the specks of dust and the crumbled flecks of Neo-Platonic texts from my hair that there was an open door leading to a warehouse or similar out back. From the darkness, I could hear a curious, regular mechanical sound, and a faint aroma drifted out, tickling my nosebuds, redolent of - could it be? - human breast milk.
Eventually I managed to claw my way back up the staircase and found myself surrounded by long-dead trilobites, ammonites, fish, not to mention lepidoptera and beetles, all demanding vengeance!
I briefly contemplated buying a dead cockroach as a memoir of my visit, and I think we're all grateful that that contemplation was only brief, hey?
For no reason at all, here's a picture of a place in Fitzroy, on the way to Carlton. It's either an insane asylum, or an ice-cream parlour, or both.
And here's one of my favourite places in Melbourne, the Office of the Consulate General of Spain.
It's a tiny place wedged in between a post office and some sort of fashion/beauty shop on Elgin Street. I think when the Government decided to put the consulate there, their reasoning went something like this:
"Say! This looks like a good place not to have a Consulate General!"
"Good idea! We'll put the Spanish there. Who else is on the list?"
"Well, we need to have a Yugoslavian embassy."
"Hey, let's put them in a tunnel underneath Flinders Street Station! That will work!"
Tim, your links stink, you fink!
- John Bangsund's Threepenny Planet
- Broken Biro
- Poetry 24
- Superlative scribbles
- Kirstyn McD!
- Rorrim a tsomla almost a mirror
- More Sterne
- Cam the man from the Dan.
- Too hot to Raaaaaaandallllllll!
- Erin's Excellently Everlasting Effervescements!
- Slammy Infamy
- Hail Paco!
- Baron Blandwagon, purveyor of cyberbunnies, hawker of Roger Corman, and Misruler of the Multiverse
- The Bolta. Aiyeeeeee!!!!!
- Bad Apple Audrey
- The cartoon church
- Sir Martinkus
- A Zemblanian abroad and at home
- A hodge podge of hotzeplotz
- THE SLAMMA!
- Jottlesby's nottings, or should that be Nottlesby's jottings?
- The Snarking of the Hunt
- Jazzy Hands
- David of Metal City
- David the Barista
- The Blogger on the Cast Iron Balcony
- Be an Opinion Dominion Minion!
- ... and Fel
- His brilliant career - from whale sushi to crumbed prawn
- Jo Blogs
- Yet another Tim
- Was two peas, now three peas
- ... Still Life - now with extra rotating cats!
- An Amazingly Awesome Australian Ampersand!
- Blink and you'll miss 'er
- Red in the land of the tigers!
- Wire of Vibe
- Chase him, ladies, he's in the cavalry!
- The Non-palindromical Editrix in Germanium
- Old Sterne
- The briefs...
- ... and the brieflets
- The Purple Blog
- Blairville, lair of all that is wicked and perfidious
- The enticingly acronymical CSH
- EXTREEEEEEEME WYNTER!
- Mark of California
- Silent Speaking
- Lexicon the Mexican
- ► 2016 (54)
- ► 2015 (106)
- ► 2014 (135)
- ► 2013 (173)
- ► 2012 (275)
- ► 2011 (261)
- ► 2010 (288)
- ► 2009 (290)
- ► 2008 (316)
- Thomson and Thompson
- The Little Book of Depression
- It's Guaranteed to Close On Page Four
- On Still Not Winning The Cholmondeley
- Class Bore
- Rhetorical Pictures
- Jerk Choices
- That's Not a Television Station, That's An Acronym...
- Five Reasons Other Than Obsession To Read S J Pere...
- Enough Grope
- More Hard Hitting Photo Journalism
- Hard Hitting Photo Journalism
- Confess! You've Been Using That Carbon-Based Energ...
- Benefacto, Benefactee, Benefactum
- Unquotes of Note
- Urinetown, the newspaper
- Reader to Writer - Untitle That Book!
- Saturday Book Review: The Narnian
- Breaking News
- To Dream The Impossible Dream
- No Money Back Guarantee
- Dilemma In Porcelain
- One person Freudian word association
- A Review of two Marx Brothers films
- Coming soon, to an ocular pleasure parlour near me...
- Office Worker Blues
- A Bracing Statement of Authorial Intent
- The Horse Is Sick
- "Testing, Testing, 1, 2, 3 ..."
- Breaking News
- Gorillas In The Must
- Budget Fails Crucial Joe Smith Test
- Raymond Chandler
- But Wait! There's Less!
- Kodak Picture Machine And Juliet - A Minimalist Mo...
- Rhymes For Poems About Anxiety
- Spenserian Spelling Of the Day
- Seen In A Bookshop
- Literate Literary Criticism
- Light Blogging
- Two Things
- Encounters With The Square Root of Two
- Good News for 86
- ▼ May (47)
- ► 2006 (373)
- ► 2005 (287)