Rebuttal: Cosmetic surgery on one's posterior.
SAMPLE SENTENCE: "What are you in for - facial?"
"Rebuttal. I lost my left cheek when saving a baby from a crocodile farm yesterday."
Qualming Tape: Tape of music and natural sounds (alarms, lawnmowers, etc) recorded for the purposes of instilling niggling doubts and slight anxieties in the listener.
SAMPLE SENTENCE: "Is that your car alarm?"
"Oh, no. It's just my qualming tape. Is it worrying you? Good. I'll turn it up... "
Camembert Quease: Illness-inducing dairy product much loved in rural France. Nowadays it is often eaten while listening to a Qualming Tape (see above).
Relaxative Tape: Musical tape full of farting sounds to aid constipated people, often recorded by the same company who record Qualming Tapes (see above).
Superpreposterousition: A superlative preposterousition - obviously.
Corroberry: 1) Ceremony by which a white Australian pays an Aboriginal Australian twenty dollars for an item of Aboriginal art, and then hocks it off for twenty million dollars on the international art market.
2) False ceremony constructed by Aboriginal Australians for the purposes of fleecing a white Australian Arts Administration body.
SAMPLE SENTENCE: "Oh, what a wonderful expression of your beautiful native culture this Corroberry is! How big would you like the grant to be?"
SEE ALSO: Rolf Boldrewood, "Corroberry Under Arms: My Time in the Colonial Arts Administration."
Bleer: Alcohol that skips most of the stages of drunkeness - tendency to say idiotic things, queasiness, anger, bouts of sleepiness, dizziness, incontinence, morning-after nausea, loss of memory, and the throbbing and lingering headache - and instead goes straight for the devastating sense of guilt and despair you get the evening afterwards, never being quite sure why. (Recommended only for people suffering from crippling excesses of optimism.)
Smartini: Cocktail that comes in a colour to match the socks you're wearing!
K-Martini: A cheap version of the Smartini (above) that is made in China and sold in supermarkets.
Wince: Wine that tastes really fucking awful.
Tim, your links stink, you fink!
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