kidattypewriter

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

A Band Called Rubber

A friend of my flatmates came around here the other day and started talking about 'the music of My Friend the Chocolate Cake', and I thought, bloody hell! Is that how bad things have got?

It started innocently enough when bands were just named after the people who ran them. Dave Brubeck, Miles Davis, that sort of thing. Maybe the rot started to set in with rock'n'roll: there was nothing particularly cometary about Bill Haley and the Comets, or insectoid about The Beatles. The Rolling Stones neither rolled nor were stoney, although the last part is debatable. Jefferson Airplane didn't fly, and weren't called Jefferson, and The Doors were certainly not renowned for their ability to stick to walls and let people through. Other inaccurate band names include The Spazzies, The Kinks, Jethro Tull, The Animals, Cream, Led Zeppelin, and the absurd Radiohead. Things seemed to get really bad about 10 years ago, when bands with names like Frente (was it a verb or an adjective or a noun or none of the above? What, exactly, does being Frente-like consist of?) Then there is Cat Power, who, despite the title, appears to have nothing to do with the noble cause of feline liberation.

The corruption has even set with people's names as well. Madonna, of course, bears little in common with the Virgin Mother of God of Christianity; The Rock is in fact neither sedimentary, igneous, or metamorphic; and Ice Cube is neither the right shape nor the right temperature for his particular eponym.

If this goes on for much longer, the very foundations of the English language might collapse. Just think, all that stands between band names and sheer madness is a few capital letters and some italics:
The music of my friend the chocolate cake...
The rock was acting in a film...
Who is your favourite member of architecture in helsinki?
I like frente, would you frente with me, is that frente you have there (etc, etc)
It was just me and the rolling stones on the mountainside...
He has a radiohead...
Here is a list of weird band names. Clearly, I have just scratched the surface in this post. There are many, many more horrifying examples out there.

7 comments:

nailpolishblues said...

The Doors may not have stuck to walls and let people through but I believe Jim Morrison was quite the star when it came to other kinds of openings.

TimT said...

The consumate entertainer...

Which member of The Doors was The Knob?

Karen said...

I am pleased that the Dayglo Abortions have not been neglected, although they do miss a few more obvious candidates, such as Flock of Seagulls and Smashing Pumpkins.

It is indeed a tricky business for a band to choose a name that is memorable but that won't prohibit their being regarded as serious artistes. Many seem to bow out and opt for the easy option of a "the" name.

Engage crazy cat lady mode. Crazy cat lady mode engaged.

While your devotion to the cause of feline liberation is indeed pleasing, one of the things that is most admirable about the little darlings, as every true cat nut knows, is that they are so truly free. They will do and take what they want, being thoroughly unconstrained by any concerns of propriety, decorum or concern for others. Surely "Cat Power" refers to the power that cats exercise over their owners, who cannot move from the chair or turn over in bed, lest it disturb the cat. It is indeed a form of telepathic control, as I discovered the other day when I realised that I had unconsciously chosen the wool I bought because it was in my cat's colours (tortoise shell).

TimT said...

I didn't think tortoise shell was a colour, I thought it was tortoises wore...

It was the sheer oxymoronical power of the sentence 'The music of my friend the chocolate cake' that got me. Three contradictions, one sentence! Smashing Pumpkins is a good one.

There will always be the poodles...

To conclude this rambling stream-of-consciousness reply, I will just say that in a recent edition of The Spectator, there is a cartoon featuring a sunglass-wearing peroxided lady jogging along with her poodle. The caption reads:

GUIDE DOG FOR THE BLONDE.

nailpolishblues said...

The consumate entertainer...well, I wasn't there but there are stories.

I always thought that Ray guy was A Knob, dunno about The, though. I do hate acid freaks who won't die/retire from public life in a timely manner.

Karen said...

God knows, I comment in a stream-of-consciousness fashion (hence the verbosity!), so it's only apt if you reply accordingly.

I suppose tortoise shell is more a hybrid than a colour, Mr Pedantic. The wool alternates between chocolate brown, white and orange. Tortoise-shell cats, as it may not interest you to know, are always female and full of pluck and spirit. Only last night I was eating banana bread with butter in bed, washed down with ample swigs of milk from my favourite mug*. I put my bowl on the window sill and lay back for a momentary rest, only to be abruptly jolted out of my complacency by a familiar slurping sound. She had actually crept around the back way so I would not see her.

I know you didn't invite me to give you a cat story. In fact, you were rather trying to parry the cat stories, but someone has to punish you for changing to a less convenient layout. Why, I used to be able to flick between you and Alexis without lifting a finger to type! At least you seem to be giving me a gradual highlights package for your own blog.

As for the poodles, I quite agree. I am particularly disturbed when they have those two bereft-looking ovals of hair on their posteriors. It reminds me of those white-clad soldiers in Star Wars

*Bearing the legend "You're nobody until you've been ignored by a cat", with a picture of a cat haughtily turned away and settling its delightfully rotund posterior into a cushion.

TimT said...

I don't know what to say to all that, but I have an answer to your blog-roll dilemma in the comments thread above this one.

Email: timhtrain - at - yahoo.com.au

eXTReMe Tracker

Blog Archive

About Me

My Photo
Me person. Live in world. Like stuff. Need job. Need BRAINS! (DROOLS IN THE MANNER OF ZOMBIES) Ergggggh ...