kidattypewriter

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Fat is unpatriotic

Fat Aussie kids won't win medals: champ

Australia's international sporting success will drop off because children are staying indoors instead of being physically active, an Olympic champion has warned.

A healthy lifestyles forum in Canberra heard that the solution to the obesity crisis lay in major long-term changes, including a redesign of Australia's cities.

Swimmer Petria Thomas, who has won medals at three Olympics including three golds at Athens in 2004, said children were growing up lacking the basic skills necessary to achieve sporting success.

That's right, fatso! The only thing keeping you between this:


and this:
Align Center
is the trifling matter of exercise, diet, genetics, years of training and early mornings, steroids, anorexia, bulimia, performance anxiety, several coaches, a scholarship to the Australian Institute of Sport,a few decades out of your life, supportive parents and family, millions of taxpayer dollars, a sponsorship deal with a number of advertising firms, God, the Devil, and a GO-GET-THEM attitude.

16 comments:

Karen said...

Absolutely. Stuff heart disease and medical problems. It ain't serious until our medal tally is affected.

TimT said...

I take a rather different approach, I see it as the combination of two national obsessions, sport and 'the nation's obesity crisis'. I just can't get worked up about either of them.

Karen said...

No, I'm not especially worked up about the "obesity crisis" either and I'm not naturally given to watching sport, but I do find it amusing that the Olympic medal tally of future generations would be dragged out as a principal reason why we should care.

The media love the obesity crisis. It gives them an excuse to do those stories where they show footage of people's bottoms and stomachs as they walk about the street. The only thing they love more is a story which gives them an excuse to show footage of women's chests and bottoms.

TimT said...

Yes! And then there are those centre-spreads in the broadsheets - usually the arts and culture section - that discuss some weighty philosophical topic (usually 'the commercialisation of sexuality' or 'sexuality in the post-capitalist world' or some such blather). They will use it as an excuse to show women's chests and bottoms! I wrote a story about this and submitted it to Quadrant. Les Murray, the bastard, still hasn't got back to me.

Karen said...

Yes, the bastard indeed.

The arts supplements just keep getting worse and worse- all this redesigning of the format, which is usually just a way of limiting the amount of room given to books and increasing the amount of room given to lifestyle articles with, as you say, their artistically salacious illustrations. I haven't been in Age territory for a while, but the Herald devotes an entire page on Sat to various versions of a boot or a scarf and they usually follow that up with an article about the sort of critical romantic dilemmas that might plague one's yuppie lifestyle- being allergic to his bonsai and so on. And the Health section (can't remember which day) has done at least two stories about the female orgasm in the last twelve months- and you can imagine the illustrations with that!

nailpolishblues said...

What a cute little fat kid. Bet he hanged himself when he was 15 because he just couldn't take the abuse anymore...

Isn't it time to update?

Also, I am just dying to know what the illustrations attached to the stories about the female orgasam were like. For some reason my imagination has come [ohh ahh] over all pornographic [and my humour all Carry On] which I very much doubt was the case. Still, they can publish almost anything these days.

nailpolishblues said...

Well, that was prompt.

TimT said...

I would imagine it involved lots of bare skin and models writhing around on silk.

Think how it would have been in the photography session:

PHOTOGRAPHER: "Okaaaaaay, Nicole, now I want you to open your mouth and close your eyes and basically look like you're having the best time in the reader's lives. Oh, and spit out that chewing gum."

NICOLE: "Piss off."

Karen said...

They went for the predictable big, red, open mouth in a box at the top of the front page with a larger version inside. I can't remember the other one- something blurry with limbs, I think.

I shudder to think of what would happen if Tim were to get the editorship of a newspaper.

nailpolishblues said...

Oh dear. The LLL is called Nicole. Thanks for killing that for me by making it about a lesbian friend.

TimT said...

Whoops.

TimT said...

And I would totally love to get editorship of a major newspaper. I'd be a total demagogue, fire the cartoonist on the first day...

Karen said...

Day 1: Fire cartoonist.

Day 2: Move into Polish market...

nailpolishblues said...

I'm sure there's someone you could marry, Tim. I'm thinking give it a few years and Wendi is totally up for the taking. After that, well, I'm sure you could work something out.

Caz said...

Lacking basic skills necessary to achieve sporting success?

Umm, I would have thought lacking basically suitable bodies to move from the couch to the fridge, but I clearly have much lower aspirations for the future generations.

That, and the fact of Australian's worshipping only those of us who are sporting "heros" has been, and always will be, beyond my ken.

Viagra Online said...

That fat guy has a great t-shirt! come on people! the guy just need more exercises and nutritive food! I love Alf, and this kid is so funny, we need the fat people to make laughing.

Email: timhtrain - at - yahoo.com.au

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