I love the logic of that: don't bother getting the callers to quit, that way you'd be out of a job. Just make them feel really, really guilty about their smoking so that they call again and again and again. If the caller actually quits cigarettes and therefore quits the quitline, it might be actually time to send operatives out again to get the quitter to unquit cigarettes. And feel really bad about it at the same time.
As a matter of fact, I think instead of a Quitline, smokers should also have the option of a Not Quite Quitline. You know, this is how the conversation might go:
- Hello, you've called the Not Quite Quitline, how can I help you?Yep. I think I'll just call Bracks with this idea tommorrow...
- Hello. I want to not quite quit cigarettes, but I'm not sure where to stop...
- Well, you've taken the first step, which is a bad sign.
- I've tried to give cigarettes up so many times, but...
- They just taste so smooth?
- And it feels so good?
- And that deep, rich, tobacco-ey aroma just surrounds you and makes you feel at peace with the world?
- Yes! Yes! Oh, God yes!
- Do you still think you're in danger of quitting?
- Jesus, no!
- You're welcome.
- *Weeps* Thank you! Thank you!
(As the caller hangs up, he lights up a cigarette and takes a breath with a huge sigh of satisfaction)