I had a great long weekend, taking the time to watch two films, one play, stay up late watching Rage, reading two hundred pages or so of this doorstop of a novel I have on the go, and finally - begrudgingly - cleaning the house. Rather depressing to get back to work, really.
Anyway, when I got home from work this evening, my flatmate was going through the job advertisements from the weekend paper. Job advertisements! I've been through more than a few of those in my time. There are the hospitality ones that millions of teenagers end up applying for, and the Government ones with ridiculously specific job descriptions, for which you just know they've already earmarked someone. There are the ones looking for people with 'secretarial skills' and 'problem solving abilities' that are unintentionally riddled with misplaced punctuation and incorrect spelling. And I'm sure there were some positions advertised for which the applicants would make the application, be asked in for an interview, and end up sitting in an office filling in another application form: applying in order to be considered for another application, in fact. (I've been through a couple of job interviews like this).
And then, there was the one my flatmate spotted: 'We are only looking for applications from scientists'. Christ, what sort of applicants had they had before? "Hello - I'd like to apply for the position of sub-atomic physicist, specialising in the field of Charmed Quarks and behaviour of Leptons! I haven't had any experience or training as a scientist, so called - but I have a proven ability to learn new skills on my feet, excellent references, and Strong Communication Skills!"
Just for once, I'd like to see a job ad like this:
NOPE. YOU'RE ALL SHIT. PLEASE FUCK OFF.
Clear message, unambigous message, and it really weeds out all the time wasters and applicants who lack experience or adequate training for the position. Should do the trick nicely.
Tim, your links stink, you fink!
- John Bangsund's Threepenny Planet
- Broken Biro
- Poetry 24
- Superlative scribbles
- Kirstyn McD!
- Rorrim a tsomla almost a mirror
- More Sterne
- Cam the man from the Dan.
- Too hot to Raaaaaaandallllllll!
- Erin's Excellently Everlasting Effervescements!
- Slammy Infamy
- Hail Paco!
- Baron Blandwagon, purveyor of cyberbunnies, hawker of Roger Corman, and Misruler of the Multiverse
- The Bolta. Aiyeeeeee!!!!!
- Bad Apple Audrey
- The cartoon church
- Sir Martinkus
- A Zemblanian abroad and at home
- A hodge podge of hotzeplotz
- THE SLAMMA!
- Jottlesby's nottings, or should that be Nottlesby's jottings?
- The Snarking of the Hunt
- Jazzy Hands
- David of Metal City
- David the Barista
- The Blogger on the Cast Iron Balcony
- Be an Opinion Dominion Minion!
- ... and Fel
- His brilliant career - from whale sushi to crumbed prawn
- Jo Blogs
- Yet another Tim
- Was two peas, now three peas
- ... Still Life - now with extra rotating cats!
- An Amazingly Awesome Australian Ampersand!
- Blink and you'll miss 'er
- Red in the land of the tigers!
- Wire of Vibe
- Chase him, ladies, he's in the cavalry!
- The Non-palindromical Editrix in Germanium
- Old Sterne
- The briefs...
- ... and the brieflets
- The Purple Blog
- Blairville, lair of all that is wicked and perfidious
- The enticingly acronymical CSH
- EXTREEEEEEEME WYNTER!
- Mark of California
- Silent Speaking
- Lexicon the Mexican
- ► 2014 (135)
- ► 2013 (173)
- ► 2012 (275)
- ► 2011 (261)
- ► 2010 (288)
- ► 2009 (290)
- ► 2008 (316)
- The Rants Pants
- A Suggested Cultural Activity
- How to not quite quit
- The Scent of Wet Office Worker
- Underpants of Mystery
- A provocative question
- A Meditation on Human Failings
- Teen Squeam
- A pointless post, in points
- Bottoms! Bottoms! Bottoms! Bottoms! Bottoms! Botto...
- Fat is unpatriotic
- The Weekly Fop #2: Duck Fops!
- Any Tense You've Got
- Fashion! Religion! Bad puns!
- Extra! Extra!
- Review: Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell
- History Segment!
- They Don't Write Books Like They Used To...
- The Weekly Fop #1: Cerealism
- Please Do Not Apply
- An Announcement...
- An Afterthought...
- Too Twee for Two
- If Magazine Subscribers Were Like Football Fanatic...
- For my next trick...
- Tennis? It's All A Load of Balls, Really...
- Six Word Phrases You May Not Want To Hear
- Tales From Earthsea
- A Band Called Rubber
- Postmodernism Explained
- All About Cows
- The Daily Tele Graph
- ▼ June (33)
- ► 2006 (373)
- ► 2005 (287)