Dear Tim's mother, Tim's brother, and Tim's father,
Hello! Tim's hair here!
As you can see, Tim has a nice head, and I've certainly been taking full advantage of it, growing in all directions quite happily and freely.
Tim keeps on threatening to chop me off - a positively BARBER-OUS suggestion! - but then, he's been threatening to do that for the past four months, and frankly, I don't believe him.
We've come to a comfortable arrangement: if Tim promises not to put too much shampoo in me, I give my word not to fall down in front of his eyes, especially while he is walking, as that tends to make him run into lamp-posts. (He tells me it's happened several times - seems quite cranky about it.)
Of course, it's all getting a little dull up here on Tim's head. I'm thinking of taking a holiday in Ballarat. (I wouldn't have to detach myself from Tim's scalp - if I've worked out my sums correctly, I'll be long enough in a week to walk from here to Ballarat in a comfortable stretch.)
Tim tells me to tell you that he is quite well and happy, and wishes the same for you. (And just between you and me, while Tim's not listening - he snores. It's very irritating.)
Well, I've certainly got into one or two "Hairy" situations - (HA!) - but won't bore you with the details.
Having a lovely time,
Wish you were HAIR,
(Otherwise known as 'The Epistolical Follicle')
Tim, your links stink, you fink!
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- His brilliant career - from whale sushi to crumbed prawn
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