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Friday, July 13, 2007

The quality of Aunts

I'd like to put in a word for Aunts
In all their Auntly quality;
Performing various Auntly acts
Amidst their niecely and nephewite polity.*

Some Aunts are called Cheryl, and many are Beryl,
Some Aunts are called Hortense or Hester;
Some are married to Pritchards or Charlies or Bobs,
Some have titles like 'Doctor' or 'Lady of Leicester';
Some Aunts may dabble in checkers or scrabble,
Whilst others play mean hands of Canasta.

I'd like to put in a word for Aunts
In all their Auntly quality;
Performing various Auntly acts
Amidst their niecely and nephewite polity.

Some Aunts are workmanlike, blue-collar Aunts,
Whilst others are more white-collarly;
Some Aunts are sportish and tennis-courtish,
Others are much more scholarly.
But all of these Aunts, if they're worthy the name
Get along with their relatives jollily.

I'd like to put in a word for Aunts
In all their Auntly quality;
Performing various Auntly acts
Amidst their niecely and nephewite polity.

Yes, there is nothing better than an avuncular Aunt
In this world of chaos, cows, cods and calamity;
I fancy there's naught that an Aunt can't do
To bring her patented Auntly sanity,
Her fun and frivolity to the aforementioned polity
With perfectly Auntly amity.

I'd like to put in a word for Aunts
In all their Auntly quality;
Performing various Auntly acts
Amidst their niecely and nephewite polity.

*Indeed, I myself have several such Aunts
Whom I admire to the point of idolatry
.

14 comments:

nailpolishblues said...

And nothing at all about aunts who plan ahead and get photographs of their nephews in fairy wings!

TimT said...

That is indeed an offence unparalleled in the annals of Auntdom.

nailpolishblues said...

Nonsense. I once overheard an aunt telling her young nephew that ice grew out of the ground, or something, she was quite drunk and it was very funny but I guess you had to be there.
The children of our siblings are there for us to mess with/turn into evil terrors as a convoluted form of revenge upon our siblings for being arseholes as children. And possibly as adults.

Kirsty said...

Yes, I consider it part of my Auntly duty to corrupt my niece, to lead her away from the Lord as it were.

It's already been well established that I'm going to hell.

TimT said...

Your accounts of Auntly offences are Shocking to me, Shocking, d'ye hear? I am Shocked and Surprized.

nailpolishblues said...

And you don't go out of your way to do exactly the same thing, Tim?

St John Nottlesby said...

Yes, Timothy, I'm sure you make a fine Aunt. All stubble and beery breath and "c'mere and give us a kiss then lad. What do you mean you're too old?"

TimT said...

Ah, NottlesbĂ˝'s comment bespeaks a world of childhood trauma, possibly carrying on into adulthood...

nailpolishblues said...

Nottlesby's aunts sound an awful lot like some of my uncles who believe that there is no too young or too old. Family reunions are always charming.

St John Nottlesby said...

My God, Nails! The mind boggles. In point of fact, I come from a remarkably small family, members of which are dying off at a truly alarming rate, and my childhood was entirely devoid of aunts be-stubbled or otherwise.

Perhaps that is the true cause of my somewhat skewed view of How Families Really Work!

TimT said...

I'm more inclined to attribute How Families Really Work to sheer, blind luck.

TimT said...

That, and regular doses of Figgy Pudding.

nailpolishblues said...

My version of How Families Work very much includes people who have better manners than to murder some of their more irritating relations. Then again, we feud like the backwater inbreds that we secretly are. There'll be killin's eventually.

Personally, I just chose to run away as soon as I could (give or take five years of procrastination).

St John Nottlesby said...

I don't give a Fig for anyone's puddings, but a prune juice enema works a treat. I've been told.

Binds the family up (for weeks).

Email: timhtrain - at - yahoo.com.au

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