Just as it is inevitable that Throngar the Brave’s plucky little band of misfits will defeat Zograx’s hordes to regain the Chalice of Power, or that Nurse Modest will overcome both rivals and misunderstandings to find herself in the tender arms of Doctor Yearn, so it is inevitable that the hero or heroine of literary fiction will gain knowledge, suffer damage and be moderately redeemed.Well, I couldn't disagree more. 'Throngar in the Forests of Charn' and 'The Heart of Yearn' are but two shocking examples of critical misinterpretation. There have been many more...
Throngar in the Forests of Charn
Actually, Zograx's hordes gassed Throngar the Brave and his plucky little band, with the exception of Snufflegump, who had informed them of their whereabouts, and subsequently became a mid-level unctionary in Zograx's billion year Reign of Terror, such as the gentle land of Dillypong had never encountered before. This was followed by the dreadful time known as the Aeon of Blood.
The Heart of Yearn
Sadly, after marrying Doctor Yearn, Nurse Modest quickly discovered that Yearn was having an affair with Matron Hussy on the side and, after divorcing Yearn, lived out the final years of her life alone, drinking a type of Latvian cough medicine she had become addicted to, and watching obscure Venezualan dramas on the Soap Opera Channel.
The Night Hour: A Detective Joe Mertz Novel
Billed by critics as yet another exciting thriller in Detective Joe Mertz's beat in the Bronx, in this book, Joe Mertz actually crosses the boys in City Hall one too many times, and gets locked up for five years. By the time he gets out on bail, the Mafia have got clean out of the city, his landlord wants to sell up, and he has a bad cold.
Timmy Has a Cold: With colourful pop-up pictures!
In this book, it is true that little Timmy does go to the hospital with a bad cough, and meets a kindly doctor, but it all goes horribly wrong when the doctor mistakenly performs an amputation on him and Timmy is forced to learn about his 'new life without legs'.
Kingdom of Blood: Book 1
Vergzord The Destroyer decides to declare war on humanity, but in Chapter 2, he stubs his little toe and decides not to. Book 2 in this innovative Fantasy-Horror serial was surprisingly never published.
Pi to four billion places
This handy little chapbook actually has a useful epilogue at the back, so a more accurate title would be Pi to Four Billion Three Hundred and Sixty Seven places.
Pictures of Naked Sexy Women Stroking Iguanadons!
A misleading title, which caused millions of Igauna fans worldwide to buy this book. In fact, there are only six iguanas in this book, compared to sixteen pictures of naked women with komodo dragons, forty-three pictures of naked women with geckos, and twenty-two pictures of naked women with blue-tongue lizards. This book was subsequently the cause of a law suite by the 'Iguanadon Appreciation Society'.