There comes a time in many a man's life when he gets a sudden, uncontrollable urge to throw everything down, rush out the door, and dig holes in the ground for the rest of his four-score years and ten. He becomes enthused over shards of pottery, cries at the sighting of an outhouse, (circa 1998), and falls over himself in spasms every time he discovers a rare eleventh century relic of a Edwardian-age lawnmower.
I expect it will happen to me in a year or two. In the meantime, I can at least sit back and watch.
Why do they do it, these crazy kids? I've asked this question before, but still haven't found answers. In Origin of the Species, Charles Darwin postulates that species change over time according to the rule of survival of the fittest. In Time Team, a British program playing ABC Tuesdays, and starring (who else) Tony Robinson, an addition to this theory is suggested: that a new species of humans of the palsied and geekish type will take up a new existence under the ground. There they will go from day to day, banging at rocks and speaking to one another in outlandish Yorkshire dialects, complete oblivious to the sunlit lands above them.
The appeal of Time Team is patently obvious: there is no appeal. The participants do dirty work, get excited at rubbish, and end up discovering nothing. Seriously! Here's the one piece of dialogue I remembered from the show last night:
TONY ROBINSON: In the first pit, they didn't find anything. In the second pit, they were had high hopes of finding a slag pit, but were disappointed. And in the third pit...
(Cut to Tony Robinson standing in field next to his archeological team)
TONY ROBINSON: Well, did you find anything?
ARCHEOLOGIST DUDE: Nothing interesting, no.
TONY ROBINSON: Oh.
As an insight into the lives of the geekish and palsied (which I am becoming more and more like each day), it's invaluable. As a scientific or education program, it's worth is more questionable. If Schadenfraude is revelling ion another person's pain, then how, exactly, could you describe a person who is revelling in another's freakishness? This is the attraction of Time Team.
Naturally, I'll be returning next week. It's riveting viewing. Or should that be calcifying viewing? Or petrifying?
Say! This looks like a perfectly innocent bit of ground. Let's dig a hole in it!
Tim, your links stink, you fink!
- John Bangsund's Threepenny Planet
- Broken Biro
- Poetry 24
- Superlative scribbles
- Kirstyn McD!
- Rorrim a tsomla almost a mirror
- More Sterne
- Cam the man from the Dan.
- Too hot to Raaaaaaandallllllll!
- Erin's Excellently Everlasting Effervescements!
- Slammy Infamy
- Hail Paco!
- Baron Blandwagon, purveyor of cyberbunnies, hawker of Roger Corman, and Misruler of the Multiverse
- The Bolta. Aiyeeeeee!!!!!
- Bad Apple Audrey
- The cartoon church
- Sir Martinkus
- A Zemblanian abroad and at home
- A hodge podge of hotzeplotz
- THE SLAMMA!
- Jottlesby's nottings, or should that be Nottlesby's jottings?
- The Snarking of the Hunt
- Jazzy Hands
- David of Metal City
- David the Barista
- The Blogger on the Cast Iron Balcony
- Be an Opinion Dominion Minion!
- ... and Fel
- His brilliant career - from whale sushi to crumbed prawn
- Jo Blogs
- Yet another Tim
- Was two peas, now three peas
- ... Still Life - now with extra rotating cats!
- An Amazingly Awesome Australian Ampersand!
- Blink and you'll miss 'er
- Red in the land of the tigers!
- Wire of Vibe
- Chase him, ladies, he's in the cavalry!
- The Non-palindromical Editrix in Germanium
- Old Sterne
- The briefs...
- ... and the brieflets
- The Purple Blog
- Blairville, lair of all that is wicked and perfidious
- The enticingly acronymical CSH
- EXTREEEEEEEME WYNTER!
- Mark of California
- Silent Speaking
- Lexicon the Mexican
- ► 2014 (123)
- ► 2013 (173)
- ► 2012 (275)
- ► 2011 (261)
- ► 2010 (288)
- ► 2009 (290)
- ► 2008 (316)
- WTFF Classifieds
- Rhyming couplets with unlikely words
- Do you prefer footbrawl or thugby?
- Consonant cravings
- Crypto Fascism
- I go mad with power
- Caution: this jar may contain traces of mastodons
- Watch out! That bustle is out to get you!
- Our new anti-Donald workplace policy
- It's propaganda, dammit!
- The nude in art and the art in the nude
- The great Australian brain shortage
- The goyim does not know...
- How to read backwards, upside down, standing on yo...
- Idea for mystery novel
- Hello, goodbye, hello
- Convenience caused
- An application for the position of John Laws
- Belloc, the game show
- Robert Herrick, goth poet
- The archeology of the species
- A blogger dies
- Self-yelp books
- Consumerism is evil! Here, have a newspaper.
- This rental life
- My life, so much better than mycosis
- Gnuts to ewe!
- Just keep Dexter the bloody friendly robot out of ...
- Disgracing you with his presence
- History Segment! (Again)!
- ▼ September (32)
- ► 2006 (373)
- ► 2005 (287)