Saturday, September 29, 2007

Do you prefer footbrawl or thugby?

My flatmate is a repository for all kinds of AFL knowledge. I was quizzing him about it the other night - there wasn't a breaking development in the game that he wasn't aware of. "Who has just been caught with drugs? Who is Essendon's new coach? What are the names of their players?" He knew it all, but how? He doesn't sit around all day watching and listening to the news. Maybe it's in something he eats?

His condition, whatever it is, is pathological. This morning the only thing he said to me was "Have a happy Grand Final Day" before bounding outside. I naturally decided to mark the event by doing what I do on every weekend, go down the street to get the papers.

The customers in the nail salon of the Coburg Mall were certainly doing good business, so evidently a lot of locals were choosing to celebrate the occasion by having their nails polished, as you do. (Maybe they were getting them polished in club colours.) Several people had club scarfs and cat hats on, and there was a brass band on the other side of the street*. And, to top things off, I had this particularly festive conversation when I bought the papers:

PAPER LADY: I hope you have a nice day today!

TIM: You too!

PAPER LADY: You too!

TIM: You too!

We could have gone on that way all day, although paradoxically, that would have made the day rather boring, not nice at all. The other customers might have got annoyed as well.

I doubt that I'll be able to rise to the depths of depravity in quite as splendiferous a fashion as I did last year, so this will have to do for now.

*Although, to be completely accurate, that brass band hangs around Coburg Mall all the time. I wish they'd go away. You there, with the computer, do you want a brass band? It doesn't matter if you don't have a mall to put them in - you can store them in the cupboard and feed them on dog biscuits.


Caz said...

If you'd enquired, you probably would have found that you could have donned your team colors on your nails for a $10 special. Many nail salons were doing it.

Wish I'd known! :-(

Still, I had my scarf and my t-shirt and my pom-poms.

TimT said...

I can't imagine how I could have passed that one up, but I think I'll leave that opportunity up to all the Goth kids in Coburg, who are strangely numerous around here.

nailpolishblues said...

Wouldn't thugby be union rather than league? I know they're both populated by thugs but, come on, there are important socio-economic factors at play! Sometimes, Tim, I suspect that you know nothing about any of the important footy type games that this country worships.

I guess you were as pleased as the rest of us that Manly were beaten, right?

TimT said...

Manly got beaten in the what now?

[Insert joke here about a Manly beating off.]

nailpolishblues said...

Oh dear.

Richmond Tigers AFL said...

Tim, a wordsmith such as yourself might have realised that on the second "You too!" the paper lady may have actually been using the homonym "U2" perhaps as an enquiry if you were interested in the band and buying the latest copy of Rolling Stone or whatever to catch up on the band news.

The description of your day started off well but you left us hanging for more details. Are you being arty or was that accidental?

Email: timhtrain - at -

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