My flatmate is a repository for all kinds of AFL knowledge. I was quizzing him about it the other night - there wasn't a breaking development in the game that he wasn't aware of. "Who has just been caught with drugs? Who is Essendon's new coach? What are the names of their players?" He knew it all, but how? He doesn't sit around all day watching and listening to the news. Maybe it's in something he eats?
His condition, whatever it is, is pathological. This morning the only thing he said to me was "Have a happy Grand Final Day" before bounding outside. I naturally decided to mark the event by doing what I do on every weekend, go down the street to get the papers.
The customers in the nail salon of the Coburg Mall were certainly doing good business, so evidently a lot of locals were choosing to celebrate the occasion by having their nails polished, as you do. (Maybe they were getting them polished in club colours.) Several people had club scarfs and cat hats on, and there was a brass band on the other side of the street*. And, to top things off, I had this particularly festive conversation when I bought the papers:
PAPER LADY: I hope you have a nice day today!
TIM: You too!
PAPER LADY: You too!
TIM: You too!
We could have gone on that way all day, although paradoxically, that would have made the day rather boring, not nice at all. The other customers might have got annoyed as well.
I doubt that I'll be able to rise to the depths of depravity in quite as splendiferous a fashion as I did last year, so this will have to do for now.
*Although, to be completely accurate, that brass band hangs around Coburg Mall all the time. I wish they'd go away. You there, with the computer, do you want a brass band? It doesn't matter if you don't have a mall to put them in - you can store them in the cupboard and feed them on dog biscuits.
Tim, your links stink, you fink!
- John Bangsund's Threepenny Planet
- Broken Biro
- Poetry 24
- Superlative scribbles
- Kirstyn McD!
- Rorrim a tsomla almost a mirror
- More Sterne
- Cam the man from the Dan.
- Too hot to Raaaaaaandallllllll!
- Erin's Excellently Everlasting Effervescements!
- Slammy Infamy
- Hail Paco!
- Baron Blandwagon, purveyor of cyberbunnies, hawker of Roger Corman, and Misruler of the Multiverse
- The Bolta. Aiyeeeeee!!!!!
- Bad Apple Audrey
- The cartoon church
- Sir Martinkus
- A Zemblanian abroad and at home
- A hodge podge of hotzeplotz
- THE SLAMMA!
- Jottlesby's nottings, or should that be Nottlesby's jottings?
- The Snarking of the Hunt
- Jazzy Hands
- David of Metal City
- David the Barista
- The Blogger on the Cast Iron Balcony
- Be an Opinion Dominion Minion!
- ... and Fel
- His brilliant career - from whale sushi to crumbed prawn
- Jo Blogs
- Yet another Tim
- Was two peas, now three peas
- ... Still Life - now with extra rotating cats!
- An Amazingly Awesome Australian Ampersand!
- Blink and you'll miss 'er
- Red in the land of the tigers!
- Wire of Vibe
- Chase him, ladies, he's in the cavalry!
- The Non-palindromical Editrix in Germanium
- Old Sterne
- The briefs...
- ... and the brieflets
- The Purple Blog
- Blairville, lair of all that is wicked and perfidious
- The enticingly acronymical CSH
- EXTREEEEEEEME WYNTER!
- Mark of California
- Silent Speaking
- Lexicon the Mexican
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- WTFF Classifieds
- Rhyming couplets with unlikely words
- Do you prefer footbrawl or thugby?
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- Crypto Fascism
- I go mad with power
- Caution: this jar may contain traces of mastodons
- Watch out! That bustle is out to get you!
- Our new anti-Donald workplace policy
- It's propaganda, dammit!
- The nude in art and the art in the nude
- The great Australian brain shortage
- The goyim does not know...
- How to read backwards, upside down, standing on yo...
- Idea for mystery novel
- Hello, goodbye, hello
- Convenience caused
- An application for the position of John Laws
- Belloc, the game show
- Robert Herrick, goth poet
- The archeology of the species
- A blogger dies
- Self-yelp books
- Consumerism is evil! Here, have a newspaper.
- This rental life
- My life, so much better than mycosis
- Gnuts to ewe!
- Just keep Dexter the bloody friendly robot out of ...
- Disgracing you with his presence
- History Segment! (Again)!
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