Connex is complaining about people who do their make-up on the trains, but I don't think there's anything wrong with it. All day, every day, half-formed moues and pre-plucked pouts are whizzing around the city at incredible speeds! Such is the wonder of our modern public transport system that now, people going to and from work can glower and grimace and sneer at one another at faster speeds than ever.
Other things that are zipping between train stations on the public transport system include pink frilly knickers, top pockets, green-scented handkcherchiefs in velveteen waistcoasts, and stubble. It's certainly a wonder the stubble doesn't fall out of people's faces altogether, considering the speed at which some trains go.
But we don't really think about this when we think of public transport, do we? It's more about getting to work, or escaping from home, or whatever.
It's worth noting, also, that another thing that public transport carries along with us as we go from A to B are our thoughts. A survey, recently completed, of Passing Notions Held By People Who Use Public Transport turns up the following examples:
"I like dogs!" - 17 counts
"I am very hungry, and I just ate breakfast." - 43 counts.
"I have a secret desire to lick twenty-dollar notes. I hope nobody finds out." - 2 counts.
"Why do I keep repeating myself? I don't know. Why do I keep repeating myself?" - 2 counts.
"Sex." - 103 counts.
"Why do I keep repeating myself? I don't know. Why does he keep repeating himself? He doesn't know either." - 4 counts.
"Sex - the word rhymes with ex! Ha!" - 1 count.
"It's the ten minutes of peace on the train every morning as I go to work that keep me from committing suicide." - 721 counts.
"I am not really reading this book, just turning the pages surreptitiously in a pathetic effort to make the other passengers think that I am keeping myself amused during this interminable train trip." - 4 counts.
Think about that next time you practice your champion sneering on the trains!
Tim, your links stink, you fink!
- John Bangsund's Threepenny Planet
- Broken Biro
- Poetry 24
- Superlative scribbles
- Kirstyn McD!
- Rorrim a tsomla almost a mirror
- More Sterne
- Cam the man from the Dan.
- Too hot to Raaaaaaandallllllll!
- Erin's Excellently Everlasting Effervescements!
- Slammy Infamy
- Hail Paco!
- Baron Blandwagon, purveyor of cyberbunnies, hawker of Roger Corman, and Misruler of the Multiverse
- The Bolta. Aiyeeeeee!!!!!
- Bad Apple Audrey
- The cartoon church
- Sir Martinkus
- A Zemblanian abroad and at home
- A hodge podge of hotzeplotz
- THE SLAMMA!
- Jottlesby's nottings, or should that be Nottlesby's jottings?
- The Snarking of the Hunt
- Jazzy Hands
- David of Metal City
- David the Barista
- The Blogger on the Cast Iron Balcony
- Be an Opinion Dominion Minion!
- ... and Fel
- His brilliant career - from whale sushi to crumbed prawn
- Jo Blogs
- Yet another Tim
- Was two peas, now three peas
- ... Still Life - now with extra rotating cats!
- An Amazingly Awesome Australian Ampersand!
- Blink and you'll miss 'er
- Red in the land of the tigers!
- Wire of Vibe
- Chase him, ladies, he's in the cavalry!
- The Non-palindromical Editrix in Germanium
- Old Sterne
- The briefs...
- ... and the brieflets
- The Purple Blog
- Blairville, lair of all that is wicked and perfidious
- The enticingly acronymical CSH
- EXTREEEEEEEME WYNTER!
- Mark of California
- Silent Speaking
- Lexicon the Mexican
- ► 2016 (54)
- ► 2015 (106)
- ► 2014 (135)
- ► 2013 (173)
- ► 2012 (275)
- ► 2011 (261)
- ► 2010 (288)
- ► 2009 (290)
- ► 2008 (316)
- Screw the government!
- Fastest underwear in the west
- Groundbreaking literary analysis
- The Workplace Chronicles, book 7, verses 1 - 4
- Insect philosophy
- Ladies and gentlemen, my father
- Collect each one in the series!
- "I am thinking of bees... "
- The man who turned into a post-office box
- Hello everyone
- Verily, Agatha
- More sneers
- Small talk
- Terrors of the natural world...
- Speaking of collanders
- Mercy is for the squeak
- An open message to all Drunkards
- The wide word of animals
- Some of their drivers enjoy high-speed duels!
- Some Mr Men books for the modern generation
- A call to action
- Modify that dangler!
- Incomplete catalogue of sneers: an excerpt
- The war against the pumpkins
- ▼ October (26)
- ► 2006 (373)
- ► 2005 (287)