Connex is complaining about people who do their make-up on the trains, but I don't think there's anything wrong with it. All day, every day, half-formed moues and pre-plucked pouts are whizzing around the city at incredible speeds! Such is the wonder of our modern public transport system that now, people going to and from work can glower and grimace and sneer at one another at faster speeds than ever.
Other things that are zipping between train stations on the public transport system include pink frilly knickers, top pockets, green-scented handkcherchiefs in velveteen waistcoasts, and stubble. It's certainly a wonder the stubble doesn't fall out of people's faces altogether, considering the speed at which some trains go.
But we don't really think about this when we think of public transport, do we? It's more about getting to work, or escaping from home, or whatever.
It's worth noting, also, that another thing that public transport carries along with us as we go from A to B are our thoughts. A survey, recently completed, of Passing Notions Held By People Who Use Public Transport turns up the following examples:
"I like dogs!" - 17 counts
"I am very hungry, and I just ate breakfast." - 43 counts.
"I have a secret desire to lick twenty-dollar notes. I hope nobody finds out." - 2 counts.
"Why do I keep repeating myself? I don't know. Why do I keep repeating myself?" - 2 counts.
"Sex." - 103 counts.
"Why do I keep repeating myself? I don't know. Why does he keep repeating himself? He doesn't know either." - 4 counts.
"Sex - the word rhymes with ex! Ha!" - 1 count.
"It's the ten minutes of peace on the train every morning as I go to work that keep me from committing suicide." - 721 counts.
"I am not really reading this book, just turning the pages surreptitiously in a pathetic effort to make the other passengers think that I am keeping myself amused during this interminable train trip." - 4 counts.
Think about that next time you practice your champion sneering on the trains!
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