kidattypewriter

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Atheist Christmas carols

Away in according to certain popularly held myths a manger

Away in according to certain popularly held myths a manager
No crib for a bed,
The little according to a number of outdated superstitions regarding the existence of supernatural authorities Lord Jesus laid down his sweet head.
The cattle are lowing,
The baby awakes -
The little according to a number of outdated superstitions regarding the existence of supernatural authorities Lord Jesus,
No sound does he make.

No joy to the world!

No joy to the world!
The Lord hasn't come!
Earth won't receive her king!
Let every heart not prepare him room!
And heaven and nature not sing!
And heaven and nature not sing!
And heaven, and heaven and nature not sing!

Silent night, normal night

Silent night, normal night
All is (relatively) calm, all is (as far as can humanly be expected), quiet:
Round yon non-virginal person, mother and child
Ordinary non-holy infant, so tender and mild:
Sleep in unheavenly pea-eace!
Sleep in unheavenly peace.

Hark the herald hallucinations sing

Hark the herald hallucinations sing
Glory to our newborn King non-democratically elected dictator.
Peace on earth and mercy mild:
God Heavenly entity who doesn't exist and human reconciled.

O come all ye faithless

O come all ye faithless
Joyless and triumphless:
Come all ye, o come to see
Christ (who isn't) the Lord!
Come all ye faithless,
Joyless and triumphless:
O come let us not adore him -
O come let us not adore him -
O come let us not adore him -
Christ (who isn't) the Lord!

We wish you a merry pagan festival

We wish you a merry pagan festival that has come to be known as Christmas,
We wish you a merry pagan festival that has come to be known as Christmas,
We wish you a merry pagan festival that has come to be known as Christmas,
And a happy new year!

Good tidings we bring
To you and your kin
We wish you a merry pagan festival that has come to be known as Christmas
And a happy new year!

10 comments:

nailpolishblues said...

This all seems very familiar. Have you posted it before?

TimT said...

No, though I've obviously done posts about Christmas carols as a general theme several times before.

Caz said...

Nup, still can't dance to them.

nailpolishblues said...

Doesn't get old, eh?

TimT said...

Chalk it up as one of my many obsessions, Nails.

True, Caz. Was thinking of doing a 'Anthem for the Atheists'(We are atheists! We are proud! God doesn't exist! Let's shout it out loud!) But didn't really fit in with the general theme.

Caz said...

"We are atheists! We are proud! God doesn't exist! Let's shout it out loud!"

But didn't really fit in with the general theme."


Oh.

Now you tell me.

Maria said...

I wonder what Atheists send in a stalkerish way on the 12 days of non-Christmas.

"On the first day of Pagan-festival,
My true love sent to me,
'The Origin of Species'.

On the second day of Pagan-festival ...
Two turtles, dissected

On the third day ...
Three French Men,

On the fourth day ...
Four calling cards ...

On the fifth day...
Five groovy ringtones..."

etc etc

Maria said...

That reminds me that "We wish you a Merry Christmas" must come under the heading of one of my unfavourite Christmas carols, mainly because of the way most people sing it in large groups.

The whole:

"We ... WISSHHH youamerry CHRISSSSSSSSmas .... we ... WIIIISSSSSHHHHH youamerry .... CHRISSSmas" deal. The rapid fire and the emphasis on "WISH" and "CHRIST" with the hissing "s" and the overly loud "SH" sound has to be the most grating Christmas sound ever - and it gets repeated over, and over again. Ugh!

Mike said...

The cattle are moo-ing
The baby awakes
His little clenched fist
In their faces he shakes
"Pipe down, ya big bovines
I'm trying to rest!
"Back Off, I'm the savior,
ya four-leg-ed pests!"

Viagra Online said...

I like what you did in this occasion, may be we can share more "superstitions", yo use the same word, and then posting other view about the topic. We wish you a merry pagan festival that has come to be known as Christmas!

Email: timhtrain - at - yahoo.com.au

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